In the land of social media, it’s hard to cultivate self-love. Validation is offered up on superficial platforms that favor those keen on branding. Sometimes our relationships (friendships and love lives) can suffer from comparison. Highlight reels with no context can eat away at us, echoing the “am I good enough?” sentiment – especially for those who haven’t determined their personal values and convictions. Online projections can invoke insecurity in our relationships, job, and self-worth. But not everyone can be a travel blogger or a bottle girl. And all of these people are not as fulfilled as Instagram would make it seem either.
The premise of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem is that you deserve to be happy and you have the right to voice your opinions, wants, and needs. These pillars can measure whether you are actually living your life based on your own personal values, or based on the values that you’ve absorbed from others (perhaps even unconsciously.)
A little background on me. I came from a working-class city with very little emphasis on social classes or etiquette. We valued our relationships over everything and pooled our resources like a tribe. When I came to the big city, I saw a shift in people preferring quantity (read: popularity and finances) over quality – whether it’s in the office, clubs or even online. A lot of acquaintances would hope to build superficial relationships with me, and I couldn’t adapt, so I stuck to my own friends (even today) that moved to the city with me.
I never managed to water down my personality to conform to my new ecosystem because my values were already so ingrained with different morals, and I learned now that I can credit that to my self-esteem. I had developed the basic confidence needed to face the challenges of life.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem are simple:
1. Practice of living consciously: use self-awareness of your own values and principles.
2. Practice of self-acceptance: don’t compare yourself to others. Improve what you can change, learn to accept what you can’t.
3. Practice of self-responsibility. Holding yourself accountable. Honoring your needs, wants and values. Don’t play the victim. (don’t complain about your weight and not work out or eat right, and say sorry when you’re wrong without over-explaining it)
4. The practice of self-assertiveness. Stay authentic to your true self under pressure. Don’t lack social awareness or be pushy. I am a lifelong Vegetarian, but I don’t focus on converting and preaching.
5. Practice of living purposefully. Have clear goals and work towards them.
6. Practice personal integrity. What do you believe in? What standards do you hold yourself and others too? What are your ideals and convictions? Discover your answers and align yourself with jobs and people that match your values.
It’s never too late to build your self-esteem and audit your personal values to discover your true self. Your actions will create a positive feedback loop and dramatically improve your life. You have the right to live life with dignity by honoring your needs and wants. Our actions are crucial, but your beliefs and self-awareness are just as important.
I highly recommend The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem as it can be your first step to building your self-esteem and improving the quality of your mental life.
To purchase a copy of this book just click on the title The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.