Kanye Stress Disorder

Posted by Christie Szymanowski | May 8, 2017 | Anxiety, Fake News, Social Media Anxiety Disorder of the Week | 0 |

The Instagram community and Twitter-verse were left shocked and dismayed when rapper and designer Kanye West deleted his accounts out of nowhere on Friday. He had one of the biggest – and loudest – social media platforms out there, and fans were at a loss for what could have caused him to disappear.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Syracuse University sophomore Erin McQueen. “If you don’t have a presence on Twitter – or, God forbid, Instagram – it’s kind of like you don’t exist in the real world. Social media is an extension of yourself. You wouldn’t cut off your arm, so why would you delete your Instagram?”

While regular people delete their accounts all the time, it’s less common for celebrities to disappear without a trace. After all, they aren’t just on Twitter for the social aspect of it. It’s part of their brand—and Kanye’s the king of social media branding.

“Because it’s gotten so much attention in the past couple days, we’ve decided to christen this particular affliction Kanye Stress Disorder,” said Dr. Bryant Young, a psychiatrist and social media analyst at the Berkley Institute for Web Research. “I think he’ll be back eventually. Personalities like Kanye thrive on attention. Something’s got Yeezy in a tizzy, but I doubt he’ll stay gone for long.”

According to Young, there are three types of people who acquire Kanye Stress Disorder.

The first type of person who deletes their social media footprint does so with the full intention of coming back once the “drama” clears out. This can take anywhere from 30 seconds to one month. The second type deletes their account without telling anyone, leaving their friends and family to wonder if they’ve been kidnapped by some vindictive serial killer intent on leaving absolutely no trace of them.

The third type of person with Kanye Stress Disorder is the rarest, comprising approximately 0.02% of social media disappearances. They actually manage to delete their accounts for a year or more. Some eventually come back, but many stay off the grid permanently.

Kanye Stress Disorder often affects both the person deleting their accounts and their friends who miss their online presence.

“Jana, my best friend from high school, deleted everything last year. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat – everything,” said Victoria Fisher, a junior at NYU. “Now if I want to know what’s going on in her life, I have to text her. And she’s at Florida State, so it’s not like we see each other, like, ever. I can’t tag her in dank memes anymore, so I have to actually call her to make a personal connection. It’s awful.”

Will Kanye’s social media blackout convince more people to live off the grid? “If Kanye can do it, maybe I can, too,” said Brian Irvington, a markedly nervous 31-year-old man who works a nondescript office job in a forgettable town in Iowa. “I’m tired of it – keeping up with the Joneses doesn’t just apply to your neighbors anymore. It’s pretty much everyone you’ve ever met. Don’t have a kid yet? You suck. Haven’t bought a house? You’re a failure.”

According to Dr. Young, Kanye Stress Disorder seems to mostly affect people between the ages of 14 and 40 who spend at least two hours per day on various social media accounts. “The more accounts a person has, the stronger an affect it seems to have on them.”

While Dr. Young admits there’s no known cure for Kanye Stress Disorder, he suggests that people suffering from it try to distance themselves from social media. “I’m not saying you have to do something crazy like delete your account, but maybe just log out for a couple days. Go outside, get some fresh air, and resist the urge to Tweet and Instagram your every move.”

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.

Photo Image by HowToStartABlogOnline.net

About The Author

Christie Szymanowski

Christie is the least funny person we know when it comes to conversational humor. However, once you put a pen in her hand, her humorous observational skills come to life like never before. She's like the Jekyll & Hyde for our office.In her spare time, she likes to knit and we don't know much else because she keeps to herself for the most part. Many people at the office think she doesn't really like us much, due to the eerily similar looking voodoo dolls of us that she keeps her knitting sticks in.

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