Stalking My Ex On Instagram

Posted by Bobby Jenkins | May 10, 2018 | Bipolar Disorder, Bobby Jenkins: The Diary of a Bipolar Bear, Identity | 0 |

Dearest Diary,

I’ve hit a new level on the messy betch meter. After opening up a fake account, I can now indiscriminately creep my exes without risking liking a 115 week old pic. 

Boy have I found some gems.

First, I wasn’t surprised that Lee had succumbed to his old ways and re-added his ex-fling that we fought over. Predictable. What I WASN’T expecting was for his ex-fling to creep my account using his real account (fucking rookie!). So I decided to check on my exes too, specifically the ones that drove him crazy. Like Isaac- one of the few exes he can name by Instagram Handle.

Enter my new messy betch status. When I saw that Isaac was promoting a new gay night (using my fake account!) at Arc En Ciel- I took my new harness and doused myself in glitter and Axe Body Spray and headed out for a night of slutty dancing and seduction. I pumped my friend Kyle with enough alcohol to be center-dance-circle the whole night. We felt famous voguing our little hearts out to a screaming audience.

Did he notice me? …Yes. Did we connect? No. But he is fucking gorgeous and now I’m slightly obsessed all over again. 10/10 would hit again.

So I moved to the big guns. My play-with-fire, you-like-him-too-much-to-play-him prospect. 

Javier came over within an hour of receiving my text. He was in his feelings. After we hooked up with more passion than the Titanic scene I realized I was in over my head- again. Just I like I knew would happen. I love him. This was not a smart ‘reckless’ hookup choice.

He was obsessed with catching up about Lee. So I snapped and set the boundary- no fucking Lee talk ever. Why is EVERY fucking prospect obsessed with LEE !!!?!

He went back to work and I tried to get on with my life. Until he called the next day saying he’s magically on my street again- and came over. Now I can’t stop stalking him either. Fuckkk. I’m not mentally healthy enough to date (but like, who is?).

I’m realizing that each distraction I try to connect with becomes a new replacement obsession. Like replacing cocaine with M. I need emotional rehab!!!

Meanwhile, Lee keeps posting these wild suicidal threats on Instagram stories. Upon further investigation, him and his ex-fling have unfollowed each other. AND HIS EX SHACKED UP WITH A GIRL!!!! 

I’m need to escape this city. It’s soaked in exes and ex-flings. Whenever I check out someone’s mutual friends on Insta, I’ve slept with at least two of them….. I need to spread my wings or paws or whatever and hit up another time and place on this planet. I get reckless/vicious when I’m heartbroken. I’m too sensitive for the dating scene. Can’t I just sew my wild oats in Iceland?! (note: set Grindr setting to Iceland)

If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.

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