Sugar Bears, Crack Bears, and Triggers

Posted by Bobby Jenkins | Mar 20, 2018 | Bipolar Disorder, Bobby Jenkins: The Diary of a Bipolar Bear, Identity, Relationships | 0 |

Dear Diary,

New areas are great. They put everything into context. I used to think I was crazy and had overcome great lengths. Which I have… but IN my small town.

My two worldly, international roommates have slapped things into perspective for me. I am crystal clear with the context of things now. Sort of like when you watch a documentary about starving Polar Bears and realize that long Facebook status’ complaining about weight-gain shopping are actually pretty tacky/braggy. 

First of all- my new area. The corners are filled with Bears for sale (even though they look like the clearance rack, honey) and not just in the night. Nope! These lovely creatures in borderline pyjamas litter the area so bad even in the day that I nearly ripped someones head off for asking me “what my rates were” out their car window. I was so lost!! I was like “rate for what” and then it clicked. And then I clicked. WHO THE FUCK!? I look like GUCCI not the SALES RACK hunny- I’m not for sale!!! 

At least… on the strip. (That Cubs seeking older Bears for ”arrangements” is between you and me Diary…  it’s truly only for the 30 day free trial… but that’s a different tax bracket….. so not the same. Right Diary? RIGHT DIARY!?!?!?!) … But ya, I definitely need Pepper Spray now. Yet another cute accessory to add to my “moving shopping list” (but also a desk: remember that!). Ugh I need a Sugar Bear sooner than expected. 

The coffee shop hoes are mean to me, the Brunch place DISCRIMINATED against me (read: cleared my breakfast when I used the bathroom) … so I just hate everybody. This whole hood is a trigger for me. Even more than having no wifi for Grindr, Cubflix or seeking arrangements. I HATE the east end. No clubs, and one grimy strip club – and it’s not a gay. Waste. Of. My Time.

And my roommates have been a fuckingg experience. One is serving jail vibes. And reassures me he was in a gang, but left that life behind him after a shootout overseas. But was almost stabbed in our current front yard and insists that he has “Things” in the house to prevent that. I’m both shook and turned on, coz that’s basically my type. AND he’s straight but on Grindr… so we’ll see if we match once I FINALLY get wifi. And the overly helpful roomate has me chewing through my whole prescription of anxiety meds. Ugh.

But there’s great lighting! So my selfies have been on point!

But I risk my life doing Laundry because the crackbears in the hood have discovered our coin operated laundry machine in the basement. I’m terrified they’re gonna steal my damn harness. Not on my watch. (look up affordable surveillance cams)

And I would throw a house warming party- but I can’t invite anyone with good credit or that’s in a higher tax bracket because they’re judgey, & no one frail because of the hood, & no one from out of town because they can’t crash here if they drink (and sober people are boring). 

So the place is really shaping up. <eye roll> #Help

If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.

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