Can Someone Have An Addiction To Blenders?

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | Sep 17, 2018 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

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Definition of blender (noun) in English:

Blender


NOUN

1 [noun] A person or thing that mixes things together, in particular an electric mixing machine used in food preparation for liquidizing, chopping, or pureeing.

“’A blender is perfect for a bender.’ That’s what I used to tell my Blendtec clients in Kemptown. I’m not sure what they appreciated more, the frozen margaritas, or the inevitable romp that was sure to follow my demonstration.” – Oxford English


Blender Quotes about Oxford English

“I met Oxford English back in ’82 when he was working as a traveling salesman for Blendtec. First, he tried that, ‘A blender is perfect for a bender’ line on me. I’m straight as a bloody yard stick, and I’ll do over anyone who says otherwise! I nearly socked him in the face for calling me that. I’m an upstanding, God-fearing, red-blooded Englishman, thank you very much! I nearly slammed the door in his face, but he stopped me and said it could blend anything. ‘Anything?’ I asked. ‘Anything,’ he assured me. I told him that’s a load of bollocks. So I grab my keys out of my pocket and stick ‘em in that godforsaken blender and turn it on. Thought it’d just jam it up; you know? Well, turns out you’ve gotta make sure the lid is on tight. My keys go flying out and pelt him in the eye. Served that tosser right.” Daniel Boothe III (Stick-up-the-arse Tory voter #478,277)

“Oxford and I actually hosted the original ‘Will it Blend?’ for Blendtech back in the ‘80s. We almost got Channel 4 to pick it up, but in the end, they passed. We ended up on Public Access Channel 92.6, The Moggy. It was out of the Isle of Wight at 4 in the morning.  We probably should’ve seen the writing on the wall with this one. People wanted to see their shit get thrown in a blender. They weren’t all that interested in hearing it. We ran three shows before we got cancelled for a program called ‘Mr. Moggy’s Stupendous Singalong Show.’” Cordelia Munt (Blendtech Spokesperson, 1984-1992)

“Oxford English… I remember him. That bloke could sell a rickshaw to a cabby. He made the best frozen margaritas. Had a boot full of blenders everywhere he went. He was married, if I recall correctly. Said his wife was this dainty, nagging little thing. I wonder if she knew the real reason he liked being a door-to-door salesman.” Holly Hughes (Mistress #62)

“Screw blenders. Blendtec destroyed my marriage. Why do you want to talk about Oxford? You told me you were selling Lularoe! Get the fuck out of my house!” Rosaline English (Ex-Wife #13)


Origin

Person or thing that blends, 1872, agent noun from blend (v.). As a type of electric-powered food processor, from 1942.


Pronunciation

blender /ˈblɛndə/


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