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Definition of blender (noun) in English:
1 [noun] A person or thing that mixes things together, in particular an electric mixing machine used in food preparation for liquidizing, chopping, or pureeing.
“’A blender is perfect for a bender.’ That’s what I used to tell my Blendtec clients in Kemptown. I’m not sure what they appreciated more, the frozen margaritas, or the inevitable romp that was sure to follow my demonstration.” – Oxford English
Blender Quotes about Oxford English
“I met Oxford English back in ’82 when he was working as a traveling salesman for Blendtec. First, he tried that, ‘A blender is perfect for a bender’ line on me. I’m straight as a bloody yard stick, and I’ll do over anyone who says otherwise! I nearly socked him in the face for calling me that. I’m an upstanding, God-fearing, red-blooded Englishman, thank you very much! I nearly slammed the door in his face, but he stopped me and said it could blend anything. ‘Anything?’ I asked. ‘Anything,’ he assured me. I told him that’s a load of bollocks. So I grab my keys out of my pocket and stick ‘em in that godforsaken blender and turn it on. Thought it’d just jam it up; you know? Well, turns out you’ve gotta make sure the lid is on tight. My keys go flying out and pelt him in the eye. Served that tosser right.” – Daniel Boothe III (Stick-up-the-arse Tory voter #478,277)
“Oxford and I actually hosted the original ‘Will it Blend?’ for Blendtech back in the ‘80s. We almost got Channel 4 to pick it up, but in the end, they passed. We ended up on Public Access Channel 92.6, The Moggy. It was out of the Isle of Wight at 4 in the morning. We probably should’ve seen the writing on the wall with this one. People wanted to see their shit get thrown in a blender. They weren’t all that interested in hearing it. We ran three shows before we got cancelled for a program called ‘Mr. Moggy’s Stupendous Singalong Show.’” – Cordelia Munt (Blendtech Spokesperson, 1984-1992)
“Oxford English… I remember him. That bloke could sell a rickshaw to a cabby. He made the best frozen margaritas. Had a boot full of blenders everywhere he went. He was married, if I recall correctly. Said his wife was this dainty, nagging little thing. I wonder if she knew the real reason he liked being a door-to-door salesman.” – Holly Hughes (Mistress #62)
“Screw blenders. Blendtec destroyed my marriage. Why do you want to talk about Oxford? You told me you were selling Lularoe! Get the fuck out of my house!” – Rosaline English (Ex-Wife #13)
Person or thing that blends, 1872, agent noun from blend (v.). As a type of electric-powered food processor, from 1942.
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