The Addictionary of Oxford English | Lie

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | Jun 19, 2017 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

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Definition of lie (noun) in English:



1 [noun] An intentionally false statement.

“A lie is worth twice the truth’s weight in gold if you’re clever enough. Bit harder to keep those coins in a row, though.” – Oxford English

2 [verb] Tell a lie or lies.

Do I lie? Is that a real question? Do I look Sir Bors to you? What was it that Churchill said… ‘A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.’ It’s a good way to live your life, really. A lie doesn’t care if anyone sees its nethers, and neither do I.” – Oxford English

Lie Quotes about Oxford English

“I don’t pretend to be a saint, but honestly, I’m not sure how Oxford manages to keep up with all his lies. I suppose when you’re willing to shag practically everyone under the sun, even a bloody tour guide from a flamingo park, you have to learn to tell some biggies.” – Hermione English (Ex-Wife #11)

Oxford’s always spinning a story in whatever way will suit him in the moment. His lies gotten him into a lot of trouble in the past they did, but he just can’t help himself. When he worked with me at the Royal Flamingo Aviary, he took a week’s holiday. Said he was going to Malta with Hermione, his wife at the time. They were newlyweds, so it made sense…  Well, Hermione came in on the second day of their holiday, saying Oxford had forgotten his badge for the conference in Newcastle. Didn’t take her long to figure out there WAS no conference in Newcastle. Turns out he was quite smitten with the new tour guide and decided to take him on a little trip to Saint Tropez. Poor newbie came back with more than a sunburn, I’ll tell you that.”  – Laurence Tricklebank (Head of Pink Hue Research at the Royal Flamingo Aviary)

“Oxford English? That man is bent as a nine-bob note! I say that with full awareness that I’m quite bent myself. I mean, sure, he mentioned a wife before we went to Saint Tropez, but I didn’t know they’d only been married a month! I mean, yeah, I had the time of my life, but it doesn’t make his lies any better…… If you see him by the way, tell him to call me.” –Bernard Dulwich (Flamingo Tour Guide #4)

“Some of us Oxford Exes (we have a Facebook page) have put a lot of effort into trying to figure out how many of us he’s been married to at once. Of course, he TOLD us he wasn’t married – all lies. He’s the world’s biggest bigamist. Right now, he’s only technically married to three people, but his record is seven at once. How one madman skirts by the law that much is beyond me.” –Daisy English (Ex-Wife #41)


Old English lyge (noun), lēogan (verb), of Germanic origin; related to Dutch liegen and German lügen.


lie /lʌɪ/

About The Author

Sir Alexander Johns

Sir Alexander Johns grew up in South Manchester, the son of the neighborhood gossip, until they were exiled, as his mother began spreading false and malicious rumors when all the towns real information dried up. While in hiding, Alexander picked up his mother's chit chatty skills and applied them to a weekly paper he wrote and distributed at his new Upper School, called 'Bollocks.' Circulation in his first year reached a whopping 1000 copies a week, and he was quickly the most loved, yet hated, person on campus. Alexander's exploits and new found wealth got him accepted into Oxford University where he majored in English and Creative Writing. He recreated his weekly newspaper, this time calling it 'Suck My Bollocks', for the University crowd and it quickly became the National Enquirer of the Oxford world. Money began pouring in. However, the Oxford Elite were not impressed as they were now subject to the same gossip as his previous school and administration. After his first semester, Alexander was quickly dismissed for breaking many school ethics laws about Libel, Slander, and Wire Fraud. Soon after his dismissal, Alexander became obsessed with causing a stir and wrote his first book. It was the Unauthorized Biography of Elton John entitled 'Fat Drug Addict.' It became a huge smash hit and caused a major ruckus in the inner circles of London High Society. He followed that up with an even bigger hit, the Unauthorized Biography of Margaret Thatcher called 'The Many Men in Margaret's Thatch.' He has since written over 20 Unauthorized Biographies and sold over 120 million copies around the world, and was knighted by the Queen of Denmark, in return for never moving to or writing about any member of Danish decent.

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