The Addictionary of Oxford English | LSD

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | Jun 5, 2017 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

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Definition of LSD (noun) in English:



1 [mass noun] A synthetic crystalline compound, lysergic acid diethylamide, which is a powerful hallucinogenic drug.

“There was a solid decade of my life where I spent much of my time under the influence of that glorious mind-altering… medication. Anything is possible with LSD. One time I shagged a hole in the ground thinking it was Kate Bush. Might’ve woken up with my knob covered in dirt, but at least I didn’t get gonorrhea.” – Oxford English

LSD Quotes about Oxford English

“He inspired ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.’ Did you know that? I was shooting the shit with him and John on some beach in India, and Oxford gave us LSD for the first time. So we were tripping bollocks, and he just grabbed my guitar and started singing ‘Lucy in the sky with diamonds…’ strumming his own little ditty – and not terribly well, if I’m being honest. Sure enough, two weeks later, John introduces that same stupid song to Paul and Ringo. I hated – hated – those fucking lyrics. But do Paul and Ringo listen to me? No, of bloody course not! I’m George, the bleedin’ quiet one. George doesn’t bloody matter! It didn’t surprise me at all when Oxford tried to sue us, but we were the fuckin’ Beatles, so it didn’t do any good. That sod also inspired me to write ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps” because I couldn’t stand the thought of his grubby fingers all over my Gibson.” – George Harrison (Beatle #4)

“During the 1960s, the British government ran a series of secret and highly illegal mind control experiments called UK Ultra. They would do things like put inordinate amounts of LSD into town water supplies. One of these supplies was the water tower near Oxford’s flat in Croydon. Once they determined that Oxford English was an unusually good candidate for experimentation, they began giving him higher and higher doses by putting it in his food. I know I was just a lowly assistant at the time, but I can’t help but feel responsible for Mr. English being a bit… well… touched in the head.” – Anonymous Former MI5 Agent (I’m quite fond of keeping my body and mind intact, thank you very much, so I won’t be publishing this information.)

“Oxford and I had a summer romance after I graduated from uni in 1959. I decided to join the army as a nurse, and we lost touch for the next five years. When we were finally reunited, he was a completely different man. He used to be all about romance and finding Mrs. Right. Now all he wanted to talk about were these ‘mind trips’ he took with his lovers, his friends, and friends who turned into lovers once they had enough LSD. It sounded quite fun, but I wasn’t really an orgy-having type of girl… not that he didn’t invite me.” – Patricia Pinfield (Ex-Girlfriend #8)


1950s: abbreviation.


LSD /ɛlɛsˈdiː/

About The Author

Sir Alexander Johns

Sir Alexander Johns grew up in South Manchester, the son of the neighborhood gossip, until they were exiled, as his mother began spreading false and malicious rumors when all the towns real information dried up. While in hiding, Alexander picked up his mother's chit chatty skills and applied them to a weekly paper he wrote and distributed at his new Upper School, called 'Bollocks.' Circulation in his first year reached a whopping 1000 copies a week, and he was quickly the most loved, yet hated, person on campus. Alexander's exploits and new found wealth got him accepted into Oxford University where he majored in English and Creative Writing. He recreated his weekly newspaper, this time calling it 'Suck My Bollocks', for the University crowd and it quickly became the National Enquirer of the Oxford world. Money began pouring in. However, the Oxford Elite were not impressed as they were now subject to the same gossip as his previous school and administration. After his first semester, Alexander was quickly dismissed for breaking many school ethics laws about Libel, Slander, and Wire Fraud. Soon after his dismissal, Alexander became obsessed with causing a stir and wrote his first book. It was the Unauthorized Biography of Elton John entitled 'Fat Drug Addict.' It became a huge smash hit and caused a major ruckus in the inner circles of London High Society. He followed that up with an even bigger hit, the Unauthorized Biography of Margaret Thatcher called 'The Many Men in Margaret's Thatch.' He has since written over 20 Unauthorized Biographies and sold over 120 million copies around the world, and was knighted by the Queen of Denmark, in return for never moving to or writing about any member of Danish decent.

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