The Addictionary of Oxford English | Shoe

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | May 8, 2017 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

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Definition of shoe (noun) in English:



1 [noun] A covering for the foot, typically made of leather, having a sturdy sole and not reaching above the ankle.

“I’ve walked a mile in more people’s shoes than I can count. Docs, Reeboks, Loakes, Barkers… Sometimes I even try on my wife’s heels when no one’s home. ” – Oxford English

2 [noun] Something resembling a shoe in shape or use (for example, a box from which cards are dealt in casinos at baccarat or some other card games.)

“I positively abhor when dealers use shoes. How on God’s green earth am I supposed to count cards if they’re using a shoe? It’s preposterous. Penalizing my wit is like cutting out my eyes.” – Oxford English

Shoe Quotes about Oxford English

“Oxford would like to be known for his fine taste in alcohol, but he’s as likely to chug a Stella as he is to sip a gin and tonic. Most people would call that alcoholism, but it’s just an average Tuesday afternoon for Oxford. One time, we took a train out to Exeter to visit Sister Sheila about an inheritance from his long-dead father. He’s always been one for premature celebrations, so he snuck a couple bottles of WKD Blue onboard. Sure enough, not two hours into our ride, he starts vomiting into his shoes. I had a perfectly good Tesco bag he could have used. He eventually dumped it in there, but he was still sloshing around for the rest of the day.” Adelaide English (Ex-Wife #1)

“When Oxford arrived back at Sorberster, I hadn’t seen him in… heavens, fifteen years. We were told to treat all of God’s children like our own, but Oxford… well… he was a bit different. A lost lamb, some might say. I met him in my office with Arthur Nightingale, Esquire, who was handling the English estate. He was absolutely disgusted by Oxford, and who could blame him? That boy… there was something foul about his shoes. I’ve been around vomit and excrement most of my life, so it’s no skin off my back. Mr. Nightingale, on the other hand? He was truly disturbed. Had to leave the orphanage for a bit.” Sister Sheila (Head Nun at Sorberster Orphanage)

“That pathetic drunkard‘s parents left him a hundred-thousand quid! A HUNDRED THOUSAND! I couldn’t believe someone gave that duffer more money than I make in a year. Apparently, Daddy Dearest owned quite a successful shoe shining business before he – pardon the pun – popped his clogs at thirty-two. I wonder if Oxford’s love of paint thinner ran in the family.” Arthur Nightingale, Esquire (Lawyer #6)


Old English scōh (noun), scōg(e)an (verb), of Germanic origin; related to Dutch schoen and German Schuh .


shoe /ʃuː/

About The Author

Sir Alexander Johns

Sir Alexander Johns grew up in South Manchester, the son of the neighborhood gossip, until they were exiled, as his mother began spreading false and malicious rumors when all the towns real information dried up. While in hiding, Alexander picked up his mother's chit chatty skills and applied them to a weekly paper he wrote and distributed at his new Upper School, called 'Bollocks.' Circulation in his first year reached a whopping 1000 copies a week, and he was quickly the most loved, yet hated, person on campus. Alexander's exploits and new found wealth got him accepted into Oxford University where he majored in English and Creative Writing. He recreated his weekly newspaper, this time calling it 'Suck My Bollocks', for the University crowd and it quickly became the National Enquirer of the Oxford world. Money began pouring in. However, the Oxford Elite were not impressed as they were now subject to the same gossip as his previous school and administration. After his first semester, Alexander was quickly dismissed for breaking many school ethics laws about Libel, Slander, and Wire Fraud. Soon after his dismissal, Alexander became obsessed with causing a stir and wrote his first book. It was the Unauthorized Biography of Elton John entitled 'Fat Drug Addict.' It became a huge smash hit and caused a major ruckus in the inner circles of London High Society. He followed that up with an even bigger hit, the Unauthorized Biography of Margaret Thatcher called 'The Many Men in Margaret's Thatch.' He has since written over 20 Unauthorized Biographies and sold over 120 million copies around the world, and was knighted by the Queen of Denmark, in return for never moving to or writing about any member of Danish decent.

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