This bad poem was inspired by observing a busy bar during this latest NHL season for one of the final games. I recalled a quote from a friend, she said“hockey sounds like neglect.” Ouch! I can still remember the sting in her words, and while that is not my personal experience, it wasn’t hard to put myself in her shoes as the only person in said establishment not glued to the screen and who frankly could care less (other then it’s cool when everyone can be united and excited about something, even if it’s not ‘my thing’) about the game.
We can be conditioned in many different ways. For my pal, just the familiar old sounds of “Hockey Night In Canada” turned into an emotional trigger. If everyone in your family is participating in something you don’t care for, and completely tuning you out, it makes sense that you could grow to loathe the sights and sounds associated with it.
For myself, the stimuli that I have been conditioned to cringe over is the ring/zing of a phone. It’s commonly happening all around us these days, and of course, I understand when matters are of urgency so that I can temper my reaction internally when someone shifts their attention from me, depending on the particular circumstance. But when I am in the midst of sharing in the present moment with someone, and then they get a zing from their phone, immediately dropping their attention from me to the intruding device, it hits me in a deep place. In an instant, my invisible child is triggered, I will try not to react my emotions outwardly, I will try to wait till I can gauge the level of offense, I will try to remain a composed adult, but it’s too late, the button has been pushed. If the offense is mild, I can choke back the child’s voice and remain present. But if it’s a worse case or if it continues for no good reason, it’s sure to make me disengage and send me down a self-esteem rabbit hole that stems from long before cell phones and their noxious intrusive pings were a thing. An overreaction? Sure, yes, that is pretty much what a trigger is. Can my adult self-reason it all out as having nothing to do with me? Yes, but that isn’t particularly helpful for the feelings part of it.
Which repeating sound have you been conditioned to have a negative emotional response? What signaled you to feel invisible growing up? I can imagine the arrival of a Sunday paper might do the trick, or maybe Grandma couldn’t be bothered when ‘her shows” were on, the possibilities are pretty endless. What sights and sounds from your life “sound like neglect to you?
If you or a loved one you know is showing signs of a Mental Health Disorder, whether it be Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Addiction, Body Dysmorphia etc., or maybe you just need someone to talk to, please do get the help you need. If you feel like you need to talk to someone right now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
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This post was created with the help of Grammarly.