The Demon of are you Fucking Kidding ME!!

Posted by Laurel Leaside | Jun 1, 2017 | Community Collaboration, Ghosts and Demons and Shadows! Oh My! | 0 |

I first encountered my Demon of are you Fucking Kidding me, at the end of a very long day. I had been struggling with a bunch of mind-numbing tech problems- you know the ones that just won’t get sorted and are totally circular, completely disrupting your flow, and are the biggest waste of time and energy- for several days. I was at work very late after finally being able to overcome my obstacles and tackle the actual work at hand. I felt like warrior walking away from battle victorious and exhausted. In my tired state, I stooped to pick up a stray paper on my way as I headed out, my phone slipped from my pocket, and kissed the concrete, and shattered.

AAAAAAaaaaaGGGGGRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

And I just snapped, I switched from sleepy to raging as soon as I saw the screen. “Are you fucking kidding me. wtf. Seriously? What have I done to deserve this? Why, why, why must life be so hard! WTF. But I tried so hard to be good and do the right thing, why am I being punished! Why must everything suck so hard. Seriously, you have to be fucking kidding me”. And many more equally useful (no, not useful at all), and certainly more explicit thoughts just swelled in my head and carried me away in a sea of red.

I was so furious at myself for keeping it in that pocket (which I had done for months without incident), furious at the universe for being cruel and toying with me, and really just plain fed up with every single thing ever known to man. No way I was going to bed anytime soon. It was so overwhelming that all I could do to calm myself down was see that indeed a demon was up, name him and get to drawing. And you know what it worked:) Not that my phone was fixed, or that I went to bed at a reasonable time- but I did manage to channel all those hard feelings into something productive and get to know another Demon.

After some reflection on my relationship with this guy, I realize that I am more comfortable letting him rage over the small and petty things. Like I can let loose on the corner that dares to jump out and stub my toe, no problem unleashing this demon there. Or it’s also just as easy to punish myself with his wrath when it is a matter of my own stupidity, like butterfingers-ing yogurt onto my blouse as I rush out the door because I mis-set the alarm. Or feeling hard done by the universe, when a car splashes mud all over me right as I head out for a night on the town. But when it comes to the loved one that treats me poorly, I have a much harder time letting him speak his piece. I am more likely to be kept up at night listening to him rant and rail, fantasizing about all the things he’d like to get off his chest. Seems this Demon has some more things to teach me..

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The Demon of are you Fucking Kidding ME

The Demon of are you Fucking Kidding ME!

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.

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