At first, I wasn’t too thrilled about writing this article today because I’m a Sleazy Advertising Executive that likes to sell things on this site and the last thing I want to do is share my feelings. But my employers told me that if I wanted to keep my job, I’d have to start contributing in other ways until I started earning my pay grade. So I’ve taken them up on this challenge, as I like showing people how great I am. Sue me! So what you have here today is a masterpiece. A work of art that will stand the test of time and will one day rival the auction house prices of Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, and Rembrandt himself. I call it ‘The Ghost of Cocaine Past’ and it’s an instant classic.
Remember those nights a long time ago, when you’d be doing cocaine with your friends all night long, and then you’d get home and post an ad on craigslist looking for anyone that wanted to keep the party going? Yeah, those were the days! You’d stay up for two days and then show up for work, and even though you felt like shit, you’d still be better than anyone else at the office and sell the shit out that Old Spice Campaign. You felt like a boss cause you were a boss. Life and cocaine were great.
Then one day, you didn’t go out with your friends, but you still did cocaine all night and then no one on craigslist answered your ads, and now you’re ordering high priced hookers at all hours. But you didn’t even sleep with them; you just talked because you couldn’t get it up. And then eventually, you started spending tons of money on more cocaine and more hookers, but then you couldn’t afford the high priced ones anymore, so you started going to awful parts of town in the middle of the night, and these ladies seemed to have even worse drug problems than you. And then you showed up to work and weren’t selling the shit out of that Old Spice Campaign anymore because you’d start taking more days off to recover from the weekend, which then became weekdays.
But in the end, the advertising agency didn’t care that you had another “dental surgery” and fired your ass for just being a shitty employee. And then without your job, you turn to your savings for help, but most of it is pretty much gone.
And the Ghost of Cocaine Past will always haunt you because now you’re working for a shitty mental health, addiction and life website that doesn’t pay you a thing and you’re living in a one bedroom apartment that you share with a roommate that you hate on the wrong side of town.
And that’s how you write this column. Now make me some money by clicking on things.
The Ghost of Cocaine Past By Sleazy Advertising Executive
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.