The Narcissist Combat Handbook: Narcissist Weaknesses

Posted by Chad The Impaler | Jul 6, 2018 | Narcissist Combat Handbook, Self Esteem | 0 |

Contrary to popular belief, and I know you won’t be able to believe this is coming out of my mouth, but not all narcissists are the same (will be covered in future posts), and yes, I’m about to say it, some narcissists do have feelings too. Ugh!

I can’t believe I said it, but it’s true. I need to admit this because some narcissists are just like you and me but have just lost their way. I say this because, in the great war that’s upon us, part of our mandate is to turn these people that we might still love, even though we hate them at the same time, back being the people they most likely want to be.

The way narcissists have been raised is a huge reason why they have become such massive assholes and many health professionals, which I am not, will tell you that we should stop shaming narcissists because it’s not their fault.

I’d like to thank all the medical professionals for their opinion but where were you people when I was being attacked by a school of narcissists last year for the 23rd time. I’ll tell you where? In your science offices taking bribes from the American Narcissist Association of America to turn a blind eye.

So yeah, I’ve fucking had enough. No more mister nice guy anymore. I’ve been used and abused for way too long. I’m now in the shoot first and ask questions later mode, and I’m going to exploit their weakness’ until all of them have been either turned back into their true essence of empathetic human beings or the alternative, kicking holes into them until they’re human Swiss Cheese.

Being Criticized

Sometimes narcissists can’t control their criticizing of others, and I HATE THEM for it, but at the same time, they really can’t take criticism themselves. Don’t you love that? So if you want to hit a narcissist where it hurts, you’ve gotta lower yourself to setting off explosions of their hearts. And if you really want to go low, do it front of people. It might not look like it’s doing anything, but their insides will look like a giant piece of chocolate left out in the sun, but instead of chocolate, it’s just blood and guts.

Asbestos

Asbestos is what building builders used as insulation mineral forever! That was until it was discovered that asbestos was a deadly carcinogen, and for narcissists, exposure to large amounts of asbestos is a ticket to an instant black lung death.  Totally nasty stuff.

Dr. Jonas Von: Sorry to interrupt, but isn’t asbestos the weakness for such Marvel Superheroes like The Human Torch and Johnny Storm?

Me: Both massive narcissists….. Check…… Mate.

Dr. Jonas Von: But won’t we have copyright issues now? 

Me: We wouldn’t have until you just brought it up. 

Dr Jonas Von: Sorry.

Me: No worries. I’m in a pretty good mood right now.

Isolation

Narcissists love the admiration of others. It’s how they feed off and grow strong. However, if no one is around to admire them, their self-esteem will take a hit because it’s just them and their fragile ego. So if a narcissist is not around people, the more they’ll think poorly of themselves, and slowly but surely, they’ll implode. No word of a lie, there was an experiment done by leaving a narcissist alone on a deserted island, but drones were there capturing video, and after one week, the fucker just exploded. True Story.

Lies

Have you ever had the enjoyment of calling a narcissist out on their lies in public? I have and watching them squirm is one of the most pleasurable things I have ever experienced. Once you call them out, it’s so apparent to everyone around with all the backtracking, you can see the mouse turning in their head. Their lies are also a strength, but when somebody, LIKE ME, is brave enough to tell a narcissist that the story she’s telling about her colleague, giving a blow job to her dog, didn’t happen, in front of the rest of the serving staff at work, which makes her feel tons of shame, and then the rest of the staff is willing to stand up to her from then on out, then fuck yeah. We’ll use your lies against you, motherfuckers!

Lactose Intolerant

It is widely known that once someone is born a narcissist or turns into a narcissist, that they become Lactose Intolerant. I’m not sure how the science works, but it’s an actual scientific fact. Most narcissists are super pissed that they can’t eat pizza anymore and I don’t blame them because pizza is the most exceptional food of all time. But I digress, after that, their mood is severely affected by this situation, and it causes them to have focus issues on occasion that can be taken advantage of. Also, if they do eat cheese, they’ll get the shits, and I just find that really funny.


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