Hey Everyone! It’s me, Ellis! It’s been like a millennium since I’ve posted anything and I’m really sorry about that. You see, I got into a relationship with someone, and I was sooooooooooo in love, but then the person turned out to be really crummy, and after we broke up, I just stewed and stewed and stewed, and I just couldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried. I just felt really crummy and angry and sad inside, but then I saw the movie ‘Her,’ and in between my hysterical crying and eating popcorn as if it were my feelings, a line from the movie caught my attention ‘The Past Is Just A Story We Tell Ourselves’ and since then, I’ve felt a lot less crummy, thank goodness with a cherry on top.
You see, I felt super wronged by my former crum-bum of a partner, and I kept on replaying our terrible moments in my head. I just kept on crying to myself about all the lies on top of lies on top of lies that I was continually being told. It hurt so much because who knows what else was a lie. I mean, did my partner ever love me in the first place? Or was that a crummy lie too? Was I just being used until something better came along? It sure felt that way…..Well, that was until I heard that quote from ‘Her’ and realized that maybe I should look at what happened differently because the crummy angle I was currently using was costing me tons of tears, and I, Ellis, in no way, shape, or form, wanted to waste tears on this crummington anymore.
The story I was telling myself made me feel inferior. I told myself, ‘Ellis, you’re not good enough for them,’ and no matter what I did, it didn’t matter. However, when I began to look at this differently, I realized that this was all for the best because we really weren’t a great fit in the grand universe scheme of things. I was always trying to bend to be what my partner wanted because I was so obsessed with everything that made them who they are, and in a way, I wasn’t being me. I was this crummy person trying to be cool for this other person trying to be cool, when in fact, I’m not cool, I’m just Ellis, and I’m okay with that. When I started to look deeper at my EX , whom I put on a pedestal, I began to see a lot of crumminess that I didn’t see before, including how they tried really, really, really, really, really, really, hard to be cool in the eyes of others. And I was like ‘Ew, that’s so not you, Ellis,’ and that made me happy because I’m so not that interstellar being. And then, instead of being honest about things, my partner chose to lie about their feelings and intentions, keeping me on puppet strings until they knew their next step up on the social ladder was ready to go, and once that happened, it was bye-bye, Ellis!
So part of me feels wronged, just because of how immaturely things were handled, but then part of me is super duper thankful that it’s over and that I learned lots about relationships and that I can now move on with my life. And that’s because ‘The Past Is Just A Story We Tell Ourselves,’ and my story is now looking for a bigger and brighter and way less crummy new beginning.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Trust, Self Esteem, Anxiety, Depression or any other Mental Health Issues like our beloved Ellis, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.