Top 10 Phobias of Pinocchio
We all remember anxiously following the adorably naïve and quietly innocent puppet, don’t we? Pinocchio, his sidekick and conscience Jiminy Cricket on his adventures to become a real boy. Does it ring a bell? While this puppet came to life and learned all types of lessons, such as being truthful, brave and selfless, we learned a few things too! Things to avoid on an adventure – such as the intense booze-drinking, cigar smoking, pool playing and gambling….. now you remember, don’t you?
Fear of the Sea | Thalassophobia – Pinocchio and Jiminy get swallowed by a whale. Literally my first fear ever. Does that make me weird? Or is it because I know it’s weird that it makes me normal. What is normal anyway? Not my brother, I’ll tell you that.
Fear of Being Laughed At | Gelotophobia – I’ve always had a fear of bullies, but a cat and a fox? That’s got to be the worst form of betrayal and mistrust.
Fear of Animals | Zoophobia – Well…..ya! He watches his peers be transformed into donkeys while trying to escape a situation. No matter what the animal, that’s scary! In fact, I’m still scared. However, sometimes I feel that my brother should be turned into a donkey….and I don’t feel guilty for having these thoughts either.
Fear of Lying | Mythophobia – I’ve always said you know, once a liar always a liar. But if my nose grew every time I lied. I’d fear it too! Also, unlike adolescent males who have some things also grow against their will, Pinocchio can’t use a bag or a book or anything to hide it. Not even a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon could do the job on this one.
Fear of Bathing | Ablutophobia – The dude’s a puppet. His nails would rust, his limbs would eventually stop moving, the wood that he’s made from would rot and attract bugs too! All kinds of creatures no one wants around would hang around…… like my brother, but that’s another story. So yeah….I wouldn’t bathe either!
Fear of Making a Decision | Decidophobia – I mean every time he makes a decision he ends up in a situation that nearly takes his life. Again, sounds a lot like my brother. Do any of you want to adopt my brother?
Fear of Puppets | Pupaphobia – I know, I know. How can you fear something that you are? But Pinocchio attempts almost anything to become a real boy. Hmmmmmm, my brother is also attempting to do almost anything to become a real man. This is getting eerie.
Fear of Disfigured People | Teratophobia – If I walked into a pool bar and half the people in there were half donkey/half human, I too would stray from being around them. Does this make me a horrible person?
Fear of Boredom | Thaasophobia – Not once does he decide ‘Naw, I think i’ll just stay home and read a book or hang out with Gipetto tonight.’ There’s always something. Whether it be the weird and somewhat concerning ‘Pleasure Island’ (kid’s movie, just saying) or the instinct to willfully jump into an ocean when you’ve never even gone on a walk by yourself. The Kid can’t sit still…… I swear my brother may actually be Pinocchio. This is crazy.
Fear of Fear | Phobophobia -Although this one may be more appropriate for his conscience Jiminy, Pinocchio himself never really knows what to say or do. He has an ability to stare fear in the face, often resulting in chaos. He doesn’t consider the consequence, possibly because he fears them too much.
This ends the Top Ten list for Pinocchio but I’d still like to bring to your attention an issue involving my brother. If any of you want to adopt him from my family, that’s perfectly okay with me…..Just saying.