Top 10 Phobias of Rumpelstiltskin

Posted by Edward Ernest | Nov 4, 2016 | Top 10 Lists | 0 |

Contrary to commonly held belief, I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for Rumplestiltskin. You remember the story: he spins wheat into gold for the miller’s daughter lest her pretty head gets cut off, the king marries her, they have a baby, and just when things couldn’t get any happier, Rumplestiltskin shows up to take the baby. After much litigation, Rumplestiltskin says he will let the happy couple keep the baby if they can guess his name. Good luck, right? Well, guards are sent to his hermitage to sneakily find out his name. And there you have it. Rumplestiltskin gets nothing for saving this woman’s life, except a broken promise and a breach of his own privacy. Sure, he might have been a little weird, but if you think about it, he was also probably an alchemist. As far as I’m concerned, there’s more to the story than is commonly told, and perhaps sometime, somewhere down the line, sympathies got switched and Rump became the bad guy. If I can do one small thing in the name of his reputation, let it be this humble but ardent justification of why he gets such a bad rap.

Caligynephobia | The Fear of Beautiful Women – It’s not as though Rump was asexual. He had the same drives as any other young man, even if he was particularly reclusive. Avoiding temptation and its object, Rump developed a fear of beautiful women—but not to the extent that he didn’t hear the miller’s daughter’s cries stifled in the king’s tower. A bit perverse, maybe, but he was well-adjusted.

Athazagoraphobia | The Fear of Being Forgotten – Still, Rump didn’t want to be relegated to the past without a legacy. Just because he was a socially awkward freak, afraid of women, and living in the forest doesn’t mean he didn’t dream of having children, which obviously fueled his request for the miller’s daughter’s first born child. Well, Rump certainly hasn’t been forgotten, but what a tainted reputation to be remembered by.

Catagelophobia | The Fear of Being Ridiculed – Can you imagine being as black a sheep as young Rump? Nobody ever hears about his early years, but all portrayals point to a childhood full of heckling. Heck, he was short, ugly, and into alchemical science. It’s no wonder he fled the home to pursue a life of forest isolation.

Peniaphobia | The Fear of Poverty – Although he made his home in a forest, Rump was acutely afraid of poverty. Spinning wheat into gold in exchange for the miller’s daughter’s necklace and ring? What’s a guy to do with jewelry in the forest anyway?

Plutophobia | The Fear of Wealth – Ironically, Rump was also afraid of wealth. I mean, if you could spin wheat into gold, why wouldn’t you do it and just hock that gold for money? Why not make the big bucks and retire to some commune with likeminded individuals, practicing magic and fighting for animal rights?

Arachnophobia | The Fear of Spiders – Because who isn’t afraid of spiders?

Symbolophobia | The Fear of Symbolism – A pragmatist, a literalist, a pseudo-scientist, there was nothing that frightened Rump more than symbolism. The penchant for reading unreasonable inferences into any old thing made him cringe. He’s probably rolling over and coughing something up in his grave knowing how his own story has been spun into a—gag—fairytale.

Achluophobia | The Fear of Darkness – Could you imagine being afraid of the dark 4000 years ago? There were no nightlights or bedside lamps to quell your fear of being swallowed up by the night. And poor Rump gets flack for dancing around a fire and singing to himself, when it’s his only method of ignoring the darkness threatening to envelop him in its infinity.

Pyrophobia | The Fear of Fire – The closer you get to the fire, the further you get from the darkness. But life isn’t all that simple, either. A song and dance might help him through the night, but poor Rump was also afraid of fire. Making that bonfire every night was obviously the less of two evils, but the conundrum persists.

Nomatophobia | The Fear of Names – As if getting named Rumplestiltskin wasn’t bad enough, when all the other children get Jimmy and Jenny and Patty. As if he hadn’t hated it enough, it became his undoing. Just this once, he was sure that damned name would provide him the security of a family. If they could guess it, they could keep the child, and his name was case sensitive, if you know what I mean. And yet…..

The Phobias List Book Recommendation

If any of these phobias resonates with you, maybe you need to calm your nerves? Have you ever tried coloring Grimm Fairy Tales Adult Coloring Book Different Seasons? It’s all the rage these days. ALL the rage. Did you know there’s a colouring book called the ? If you click on the title, you can purchase it and help your anxiety in no time. Just saying! Grimm Fairy Tales Adult Coloring Book Different Seasons.

About The Author

Edward Ernest

Edward Ernest is pretty much the coolest guy that ever lived.......according to himself. He's one of the founders of Massivephobia.com and has zero respect from any of his colleagues. To the outside world, he's this very nice upstanding citizen, but behind closed doors he's one of the meanest people we know. Yes, he writes nice articles and gives good advice. It might even seem like he cares about you and wants to be your friend. But please, don't be fooled. We've seen him kick a dog a with a broken leg before and have heard him on the phone berating his grandmother for only giving him a $5 birthday gift. Be thankful he's not related to you.

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