For 25 years, the X-Files has been telling us stories of aliens through the lens of the super-obsessive but well-intentioned Fox Mulder. Since his sister’s abduction when they were kids, he’s been fascinated by all things paranormal. And when aliens turn out to be real, they create some pretty deep-seated fears in his subconscious. Here are his Top Ten Phobias.
Hypnophobia | Fear of Sleep – Mulder has always had trouble sleeping. As a kid, he’d wake up in the middle of the night, scared shitless that everyone he knew was gone. I mean, I had some nightmares when I was a kid, but damn. I guess having your sister abducted will fuck with you. I was also quite the opposite of him. I woke up wishing everyone I knew was gone. Still do.
Pyrophobia | Fear of Fire – If there’s one thing we’re sure of, it’s that Mulder is fucking terrified of fire. When he was a kid, he was seriously scarred when his friend’s house burned down, and he had nightmares about it for years. But it’s not just that. He keeps running into unfortunate situations with fire… because Mulder has a really shitty life. As an adult, his office goes up in flames and destroys the X-Files. Eh… It’s just his obsession and livelihood. NBD, right? The only fire I have is the one in my loins for Fox Mulder. Wink.
Cleisiophobia | Fear of Being Locked up in an Enclosed Space – Poor Mulder ends up trapped in a tiny, enclosed space and subjected to brainwashing attempts. Sounds like when my parents divorced, and I was forced to live with my Mother.
Trypanophobia | Fear of Injections – Shit REALLY hits the fan when Mulder is found guilty of murdering Knowle Rohrer. He’s sentenced to death by lethal injection, which he avoids, but seriously… I wouldn’t let anyone come near me with a needle again…….MOM!
Spacephobia | Fear of Outer Space – I mean, obviously. Aliens have fucked with Mulder to the point where we’re surprised he can even function like a semi-normal human being anymore. That, coupled with the fact that they abducted his sister and destroyed his totally normal apple pie life, is enough to leave him shaking in his shoes. I kinda wish I’d be able to go to outer space. Fewer people.
Agoraphobia | Fear of Leaving a Safe Place – Mulder ends up on the run from the law, and he eventually hides out in Scully’s house. He basically can’t leave, because the whole death sentence thing is a real bummer. But it’s not all bad. He does end up growing a pretty sweet beard.
Dementophobia | Fear of Insanity – If you’d experienced half the shit Mulder has, you’d be afraid you were crazy, too. To tell you the truth, I’m not afraid myself, but that’s because I’m a terrible person and want to use it as an excuse for not doing much with my life besides writing these lists.
Heliophobia | Fear of Bright Light – Man, what is it with aliens? Why do they need to draw attention to themselves by shining a bright light on their abductees? Wouldn’t it be easier (and slightly less traumatic) to just zap ‘em up without all the pomp and circumstance? Mulder’s got enough going on WITHOUT the addition of heliophobia. This actually reminds me of the time…wait, I can’t tell that story. It’s too personal.
Phasmophobia | Fear of Ghosts – Mulder is fascinated by ghosts, but they also kinda make him shit his pants. Every time an opportunity to investigate potential spooks pops up, he’s more than happy to go for it, even if it’s Christmas Eve and there are a million better things to do. I should call him to investigate all my ghosts. I’ve got tons.
Autophobia | Fear of Being Alone – This is probably poor Mulder’s deepest fear, and it’s something he and Scully share, whether they admit it or not. At the end of the day, though, we know they’ve got each other’s backs. I just cried. I’m such a sappy loser baby. Still crying.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.