We experience the original Star Wars trilogy through our wide-eyed protagonist, Luke, but come on… can you even imagine a Star Wars universe without Han? What a sad, sad galaxy that would be. Years of spacey smuggling and adventuring sure have done a number on him, but when push comes to shove, he conquers his fears and chooses the right side of the force. Here are Han Solo’s Top Ten Phobias.
Apotemnophobia | Fear of Persons with Amputations – Why do so many people in the Star Wars universe lose their limbs? While it’s safe to say Han has absolutely no fear of Luke, what about Vader? He seems pretty terrified of him. And three amputations? That’s enough to have Han quivering in fear. I don’t have this fear as I have an amputation myself. I won’t tell you what part of my body but it doesn’t help with my already low self esteem. Wait….I hate myself sooooo, yeah, this fits.
Cheimaphobia | Fear of Cold – Han HAD to have been shaking (or shivering) in his boots when Boba Fett froze him in carbonite. Worst of all, he was just a friggin’ test dummy. Sorry, Han, your sacrifice means NOTHING. We just wanted to make sure our precious Skywalker boy isn’t going to die! Wow, I’m pretty cold hearted aren’t I?
Claustrophobia | Fear of Being Enclosed in a Small Space or Room – Imagine being in Han’s shoes as you’re powerless to stop a garbage compactor from squishing you into a pancake. In A New Hope, he, Luke, and Leia barely made it out alive. We’d totally understand if Han had claustrophobia after this one. Maybe he even thought a little less of himself for being unable to get himself out of there. Instead he had to deal with the humiliation of having a droid who fears literally everything stopping them from being smashed to smithereens. In my family, that droid would be me, and Han Solo would be everyone else.
Altophobia | Fear of Heights – I think it’s safe to say he didn’t suffer this fear for very long. Sorry, too soon…?
Dikephobia | Fear of Justice – Han is pretty much the definition of a chaotic character. He’s a smuggler by… “trade,” and it’s an occupation he just can’t seem to quit. Han might get a thrill from being on the run from the law, but it’s also given him a healthy fear of it. This pretty much sums up my life. My life can be summed up in two poorly written sentences? Sigh.
Eremophobia | Fear of Being Oneself or of Loneliness – He might play up the whole “Mr. Macho Tough Guy” persona, but if there’s one fear Han really has, it’s being alone. Even when we’re first introduced to him in “A New Hope,” he’s always got Chewbacca by his side. Ugh, I’m kinda hating Han Solo right now after getting through all of these. He kinda sucks. This is a Deja Vu moment about every boyfriend I’ve every had.
Philiophobia | Fear of Falling in Love – “I love you.” “I know.” Come on, man. When Carrie Fisher tells you she loves you, you SAY IT BACK. At least he didn’t lie about loving her like every boyfriend I’ve ever had…..and my family.
Scoleciphobia | Fear of Worms – Narrowly escaping walking the plank into a sarlacc pit is bound to give you an unhealthy fear of worms. Han watches helplessly as those tendrils reach out, waiting to grab their prey. This pit always grossed me out and reminds me of the time that my Cousin Rick tried to make out with me. Barf!
Snakeophobia | Fear of Snakes – Why does it always have to be –oh, wait. Wrong 1980s Harrison Ford blockbuster trilogy. Well, this is embarrassing.
Tyrannophobia – Fear of Tyrants – Why else would he have so reluctantly (and yet forcefully) launched himself into the middle of the rebel cause? Han may want to do his own thing, but you can’t exactly do your own thing with a galactic empire harshing your groove. Alternative motives….I know them so well.
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.