Tony Stark is the billionaire Elon Musk wishes he was. And Elon, if you’re reading this, I’ll be impressed when you make me an awesome, semi-indestructible flying suit. Until then, playboy-philanthropist-genius Tony Stark reigns supreme. Tony might seem to have everything going for him, but he also has the world on his shoulders. He hasn’t had an easy life, flying off and saving people. He’s got more than a few fears to contend with that no amount of Porches (or whatever rich people are driving these days) can fix.
Anemophobia | Fear of Air Drafts or Wind – When you’re flying a hundred feet in the air at nearly impossible speeds, the last thing you want is for a wry gust of wind to sweep you away and prevent you from saving the day…..Unless that gust of wind is taking me to the Land of OZ and away from my terrible family. I WISH!
Asthenophobia | Fear of Weakness – Tony Stark is obsessed with keeping his calm, badass playboy demeanor, and refuses to let almost anyone see that he may have a weak side……I now do the same in all my relationships :'(
Autophobia | Fear of Being Alone – I know JARVIS is helpful and all, but maybe the real reason Tony created it was to keep himself from being lonely. Dude likes to talk, like, a lot……I could never date him even though I think he’s really hot. I’d just get soooooo annoyed.
Ceraunophobia | Fear of Thunder and Lightning – Iron Man and Thor get in a bit of a tiff when they disagree on how best to deal with Loki in the Avengers. While it pretty much ends in a stalemate, Thor does a number on Tony before they reconcile……In my life, the police like to call it domestic violence and I get sent to jail. Just another example of women getting screwed.
Gamophobia | Fear of Marriage or Relationships – Before Tony got with Pepper, he was basically seeing one woman after another. He’s a billionaire. That’s what they do, right? I dated a guy like that but he still lived with his parents.
Hodophobia | Fear of Travel – While on a business trip to Afghanistan to look at the new Jericho missile, Tony is captured by terrorists and barely escapes with his life. Seems like enough of a reason to avoid travel. Not that that stops him, of course. Superheroes gotta travel….. I can’t go to Afghanistan due to my probation.
Nosophobia | Fear of Becoming Ill – If Yinsen hadn’t invented a device to keep the pieces of shrapnel from infecting Tony’s heart and killing him, he’d have died a long time ago. Still, sometimes the device malfunctions. He’s gotta be afraid of not being able to fix or charge it someday……The only thing infecting my heart are the memories of my childhood and the decisions I’ve made afterward.
Peniaphobia | Fear of Poverty – Can you imagine Tony Stark without his crazy mansion, JARVIS, cars, and private jets? He wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He’d have a breakdown…..What a dick! I’ve been poor all my life and you don’t see me complaining. I think I might hate Tony Stark or maybe I’m just jealous?
Politicophobia | Fear of Politicians – Maybe this is the real reason Tony went against Cap in Civil War. Ross is pretty terrifying….. I voted for Trump! Kidding! I was too busy being sexually harassed by my boss to make it to the polls that day.
Zeusophobia | Fear of Gods – Loki might not be the scariest of villains (so hot!), but he’s given Tony and the Avengers (band name, anyone?) a run for their money more than once. He seriously screwed up New York, and Tony took a lot of heat for it…..Oh, Loki! I’d die for Loki.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.