Top Ten Phobias of Kylo Ren

Posted by Kristy Listy | Sep 28, 2017 | Lists, Phobia, Top 10 Lists | 0 |

Kylo Ren – or should I say, Ben Solo? Because seriously, who’s so full of themselves that they change their own name? With Vader, it kinda makes sense. Falling into a volcano, losing multiple limbs, and being burned beyond recognition would make a person want to change their identity, but Kylo? He’s just trying to be #edgy. This got us wondering… why? What could give someone so many hang-ups about their upbringing that they would try to emulate the greatest villain a galaxy far, far away has ever seen. Who can go so far as to kill their own father, the most beloved character in the Star Wars franchise? It’s time we delve into Kylo Ren’s fears to see if we can uncover what’s made him such a miserable bastard.

Apotemnophobia | Fear of Persons with Amputations – Maybe the reason Kylo worships his maternal grandfather is because he’s secretly afraid of people with amputations? Yeah… probably not. I’m sure his Vader worship is way more messed up and deep-seeded than that. Speaking of worshipping terrible things, my dad is really into Kevin Costner these days.

Aeroacrophobia | Fear of Open High PlacesKylo Ren fans will say that maybe – just maybe – he didn’t mean to kill his dad and let him fall into the reactor. He just… slipped up because he has aeroacrophobia? Yeah, and my ex-boyfriend didn’t push me into traffic on purpose either, but instead was swatting a bee to save me? Yeah, fuck that guy.

Aichmophobia | Fear of Pointed ObjectsKylo defenders will also say that he didn’t turn on his lightsaber – Han did. If this theory is proven true in The Last Jedi, maybe it’s because his aichmophobia made it so he just couldn’t go through with stabbing dear old dad…..I don’t have this fear as I was once a heroin addict. Enough said.

Asthenophobia | Fear of WeaknessKylo is terrified of looking weak in front of both his allies and enemies… which just makes him look weaker. He’s basically a dark-haired version of Draco Malfoy. But there’s a difference though. I’d make sweet love to Draco Malfoy in a heartbeat. Swoon.

Catagelophobia | Fear of Being RidiculedSometimes I wonder if Kylo Ren was bullied like crazy in school. I mean, with Princess Leia as your mom, everybody’s gonna think you’re a goody-two-shoes anyway. Has childhood ridicule made him the way he is? This makes so much sense when I think of all those terrible things my old neighbor,  Jimmy ‘The Lisp’ Sullivan did.

Cherophobia | Fear of GaeityI think it would kill him to crack a smile. It’s 2017, Ky. The emo scene ended, like, ten years ago and thank goodness it did. I burned all of my emo-looking selfies. No evidence left behind.

Ecophobia | Fear of Home SurroundingsHe’s brought nothing but shame to his family. I can’t imagine he’d have any interest in going home….I have no interest in going home, but it has nothing to do with shame. It’s called self-preservation.

Eremophobia | Fear of Being OneselfDeep down, Kylo Ren is probably scared shitless and regretting everything he’s done to family and his legacy. He just doesn’t have that je ne sais quoi that it takes to become a feared mass murderer; ya know? Unfortunately, my old neighbor, Jimmy ‘The Lisp’ Sullivan did not have this problem.

Kosmophobia | Fear of Cosmic EventsSpace ain’t no picnic. No doubt he wonders if a cosmic event is going to take him out sometime…..On days when I hate the society more than anything, I wish this for Earth…….And to be more specific, my cousin Julie’s house.

Nomophobia | Fear of NamesWhat’s wrong with the name Ben Solo? Are you really pissed that you’re named after Obi-Wan, Ren? Actually, I don’t blame him. I mean, my name’s not Kristy Listy, so I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t back him up on this one. 

Prospophobia | Fear of ProgressKylo Ren wants to return to the good old days. When the Empire was the Empire, and there were no serious legal repercussions if you Force choked someone to death. Rebel progress? It’s not his cup of tea. The question is: will Kylo ever go toward the light? I guess we’ll have to wait until December to see…..Wait, are we talking about Donald Trump and MAGA? I’m so confused.

If you or a loved one you know battles with Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.

Photo Credit: William Tung


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