For twenty-two years, Lara Croft has been raiding tombs, foiling the plans of cultists, and getting into a frustrating amount of plane crashes and boating accidents. But nothing stops Lara. She’s got a need to prove herself, a luxurious upbringing to reject, and some seriously crazy cultists to stop. Unfortunately, you can’t go breaking open tombs without gaining a few fears in the process.
Chrometophobia | Fear of Money – Poor Lara. It must have been so difficult to grow up in a family of wealth and stature. Must be why she decided to go off and risk her life for adventure. Money and security are just so passé, ya know? I hated people like Lara back in the day, kinda still do. Am I jealous? Hell, yeah!
Pteromerhanophobia | Fear of Flying – How do you take a spoiled rich girl and turn her into a badass archaeologist? With a plane crash, of course! Most Tomb Raider iterations have poor Lara surviving a plane crash and learning to make it on her own in the wilderness. Who can blame her for being a little uneasy around them? She just keeps on bouncing back, and it reminds me a lot of myself after every relapse.
Taphephobia | Fear of Being Buried Alive – It wouldn’t be a proper tomb raid without a few cave-ins; would it? In the original Tomb Raider, Lara nearly dies in Qualopec’s tomb because of a collapse. In Rise of the Tomb Raider, she barely makes it out of the Prophet’s tomb alive when she sets off explosions to cause a cave-in. If I were her, I’d be freaking out every time a pebble moved….. I’ve been buried alive at the beach by family, and then they left without me. They swore it was a joke, but I’ve never believed them.
Necrophobia | Fear of Dead Things – When your job involves spelunking in sacred burial grounds, you’re bound to encounter a few mummies and skeletons. Unfortunately for Lara, they sometimes have a tendency to come alive. I hope she doesn’t have a funeral to attend any time soon…. I was so lame on that last line. By the way, I’ve spelunked more times than I can count on sacred burial grounds…..wink.
Theophobia | Fear of Religion – We’re not talking about your normal, everyday, run-of-the-mill religions here. Lara always conveniently seems to find herself in the crosshairs of a cult….. The only religion my family believed in was called Distrust, and I still swear by it.
Thalassophobia | Fear of the Ocean – In the Tomb Raider reboot released in 2013, Lara starts her adventure searching for Yamatai. Her ship gets caught in a storm and literally splits in half. At least Lara was lucky there was an island nearby….. Another time when we were at the beach, my family told me to go swimming in the ocean and then they left without me again. That’s when I knew it wasn’t a joke.
Pyrophobia | Fear of Fire – Lara is sure she’s going to lose her friend, Sam, when the Solarii performs a ritual to determine if she’s the heir to the Sun Queen’s throne by trying to burn her to death. Sam survives, but it still had to be a pretty traumatic experience….. Sounds like a metaphor for my life. Did that even make sense? Don’t care.
Russophobia | Fear of Russians – Man, why are the bad guys always Russians? For whatever reason, the Solarii sure have a lot of Russians among their ranks. Lara’s probably a little uneasy any time she orders a Moscow mule…. The only thing to fear about Russians is their fashion sense. I’ve been dirt poor and could still put together better outfits using a potato sack and a thimble. Yeesh!
Agateophobia | Fear of Insanity – Both Ana and Jonah fear for Lara’s sanity when she starts talking all crazy-like about how Kitezh might contain information leading to a cure for disease, and even aging. It does sound pretty bonkers, so maybe Lara should be a little worried she’s losing her mind….. Or she’s being gaslit, just like how my family says that they’ve never stranded me at the beach.
Cheimaphobia | Fear of Cold – Lara has one hell of a time in Siberia. From having to outwit religious zealots to falling into a freezing river and almost dying, we can’t blame her if she wants to spend her next adventure somewhere hot and dry…… Did I mention the time that my family told me to go swim in a freezing river?
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.