Empire’s charismatic and multi-talented Lucious had a rough start to his life, and it makes it hard not to sympathize with him, even when he makes really shitty decisions, like, you know… killing people. Ahem. Anyways, it’s time to get down to what makes Lucious Lyon tick. Strap on your belts for this depressing-as-fuck roller coaster ride into one of TV’s greatest anti-heroes.
Homophobia | Fear of Homosexuality – In Season 1 especially, Lucious is super shitty to his gay son, Jamal, insisting that his attraction to the same sex is a choice he should be able to overcome. He eventually starts treating Jamal better, but it’s because he recognizes his talents, not because he fully accepts Jamal for who he is. This sounds like everyone from my hometown, minus the treating of homosexuals better.
Theophobia | Fear of a Single God, Gods or Religion – Lucious may have the biggest ego in television. Anybody got another nominee to offer up? He literally calls himself a god for building his record company from the ground up and launching so many successful careers. If he came up against the might of an actual god, he’d be shaking in his shoes. How about this one: Lucious vs. Zeus? Poseidon? See, this is why they don’t let me pitch spec scripts.
Gelophobia | Fear of Laughter – Lucious DEMANDS to be taken seriously. Threaten him? Laugh at him? He’ll fuck up your day. Yup, sounds like everyone in my hometown again.
Panthophobia | Fear of Suffering and Disease – Lucious’s doctor misdiagnoses him with ALS and only gives him a few years to live. Since ALS has to be one of the shittiest ways to go, Lucious’s panthophobia is totally understandable. Everyone in my hometown doesn’t believe in science, so this wouldn’t have affected them at all.
Ataxiophobia | Fear of Ataxia – Lucious tries really hard to keep up his tough persona despite his diagnosis. He’s constantly afraid of losing his balance due to his supposed ALS. No one in my hometown could spell Ataxia, yet alone has even heard the word.
Athazagoraphobia | Fear of Being Forgotten – Lucious built Empire Records from the ground up, and he doesn’t want anyone to forget it. With his own mortality seemingly looming on the horizon, his athazagoraphobia is turned up to eleven. Geez! This is why everyone in my hometown spray paints their names everywhere.
Nosophobia | Fear of Becoming Ill – When it comes to getting sick, Lucious really can’t catch a break. Because of his quack of a doctor, he ends up in the hospital with liver damage. Everyone in my town is mentally sick; they just don’t know it.
Psychophobia | Fear of Mind or Mental Illness – His oldest son, Andre, has bipolar disorder. Lucious refuses to treat his illness, and denies that his son even has it. ‘Cause, ya know. That’s healthy. Um, yeah, I should have saved the last comment for this one. Am I going crazy?
Clithrophobia | Fear of Being Locked up in an Enclosed Space – When Lucious is arrested on charges of murdering Bunkie, he flips the fuck out on Cookie, blaming her for his arrest. Lucious knows he can’t run Empire from behind bars, and rightfully fears a takeover of his company. If anyone in my hometown had this fear, maybe we wouldn’t have the highest assault rate in America.
Dikephobia | Fear of Justice – Lucious kills Cookie’s cousin, Bunkie, when he threatens to destroy Empire Records if Lucious doesn’t give him a cool three mil. Hey, Lucious, word of advice? In the future, don’t kill one of your own family members, no matter how much of a dick they are to you. Just ask Hamlet; it never turns out well. Nor did it for my Uncle Jeff.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Addiction or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.