Everybody wanted to be Ferris Bueller growing up. He took risks and stuck it to authority in ways we only dreamed of. There’s no way this bad boy fears anything! He grabs life by the balls and never let’s go! Right? Well… maybe not so much. It might surprise you to find that Ferris Bueller has just as many phobias as the rest of us.
Scholionophobia | Fear of School – Why else would Ferris have skipped nine times?
Bibliophobia | Fear of Books – What’s the worst part of school for Ferris? All those stuffy old textbooks that were probably updated in the 1960s. We don’t really get to see what Ferris is like when he’s actually in school, but we like to imagine him squirming in his seat as he’s forced into another popcorn reading. No one likes popcorn readings.
Mastigaphobia or Mastigophobia | Fear of Punishment – Ferris believes rules are meant to be broken, but he really doesn’t want to suffer the consequences. He loves living on the edge but goes to great lengths to hide from his parents and Principal Rooney.
Autophobia | Fear of Being Alone – Ferris can’t just skip on his own and enjoy a day in Chicago – he has to get Sloane and Cameron in on it. While Sloane agrees pretty readily, Ferris puts a lot of effort into getting Cameron to come out with them.
Athazagoraphobia | Fear of Being Ignored – We love Ferris’s rendition of “Twist and Shout” when he interrupts the parade, but we have to wonder if he feels the need to do this because he’s afraid of not being the center of attention.
Chronophobia | Fear of Time – “Life moves pretty fast,” Ferris reminds us. “If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” We think this is a sign of Ferris exhibiting chronophobia.
Metathesiophobia | Fear of Changes – It’s pretty clear that Ferris doesn’t want to grow up. He knows he’s not going to have many more carefree days with his friends once high school ends.
Scriptophobia | Fear of Writing in Public – This ties in with the many school-related fears Ferris has. Remember having to fix grammatical errors in sentences on the board? We think Ferris might not have been so good at that. Imagine your mean, old English teacher scolding you for not knowing the difference between a semicolon and a comma. The horror!
Somniphobia | Fear of Sleep – Life goes by pretty fast, so Ferris is probably afraid of wasting his by having to give in to that pesky need for sleep. He’s squandering his youth!
Thanatophobia/Thantophobia | Fear of Death or Dying – This goes hand-in-hand with Ferris’s gerontophobia. If he’s afraid of getting old, it’s partially because he knows everyone’s days are numbered. Sorry. We wouldn’t want you to think too much about your own mortality. Why don’t you go get a double scoop from 31 Flavors to keep that existential dread from setting in?
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.
Photo by Mike Mozart