We’ve all got a little bit of the Dude in us. He’s good for comic relief, but you’ve gotta admit – there are aspects of his life we envy. He’s got good friends, a beautiful rug, and he’s not a bad bowler. The Dude is basically the most chill character ever, but that doesn’t mean he’s without his phobias. His little run-in with the Big Lebowski has probably left him more than a little traumatized. Here are the Top Ten Phobias of The Dude, Jeffrey Lebowski.
Urophobia | Fear of Urine or Urinating – Woo takes a piss on Dude’s most prized possession, a rug that just really ties his living room together….. To be fair, I’d be bothered by a grown man peeing in my living room, too…….. Like my brothers…..Assholes.
Germanophobia | Fear of Germany or German Culture – The German nihilists give the Dude a lot of shit, to the point of actually threatening to cut off his dick. Um… yeah. I totally get your fear of Germans, Dude…… However, I’ve used this threat before and works really well. And just a tip for all you ladies out there… if you create a backstory before you begin dating that you’ve cut off someone’s dick before, they’ll take the threat more seriously when it happens. WINK.
Dipsophobia | Fear of Drinking – After Jackie Treehorn spikes the Dude’s White Russian, he drifts off to dreamland and wakes up in police custody. I can’t imagine he’ll ever be able to enjoy his favorite drink like he used to…… Also, do black people live in Russia?
Nomatophobia | Fear of Names – You’re probably a little hung up on your name when you insist on people calling you “Dude.”…….. Too many of my Ex’s referred to me as a dude, so fuck this phobia.
Chrometophobia | Fear of Money – All the bullshit the Dude puts up with has to do with money. It’s not something he particularly cares about in the beginning, and it’s easy to see why, after it causes so many problems for him…… I don’t have a fear of money, I just have a fear of blowing it….up my nose….but I’m doing much better these days.
Telephonophobia | Fear of Telephones – The Dude doesn’t handle stressful situations very well, and this goes doubly when he’s on the phone. Way to just choke up and let the guys who probably want to kill you know that Walter is helping you. He also constantly ignores the portable phone that Brandt gives him……. I don’t have a phone because it’s the easiest way to trace you and in my old line of work, that’s just a bad idea.
Apotemnophobia | Fear of Persons with Amputations – Getting a letter with a woman’s toe in it has to be pretty traumatizing. Disagree? Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
Ephebiphobia | Fear of Teenagers – To top off everything the Dude’s been through, he somehow gets his car jacked by some dumb little shithead who left his homework in it…….. I would have killed that kid, for real…..okay, I would have just beat him up real good.
Iatrophobia | Fear of Doctors – Poor Dude just wants to live his life, but when Maude recommends a doctor to repair his jaw, it turns out she only set up the appointment to see if he’d essentially make a good sperm donor. No way in hell Dude will ever trust a doctor again…… Who would want kids anyway? Look how I turned out, and I’m the good child.
Ponophobia | Fear of Overworking – There’s no way around it – The Dude’s lazy. After a few days full of more stress than he’s probably experienced in his whole life, the Stranger asks him to take it easy. With ponophobia being his most prominent fear, we’re pretty sure the Dude abides……..man…..And now it’s time for me to take the rest of the day off too.
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.
Photo Credit: Polygram Filmed Entertainment