Oh, Neo. Let’s face it: you probably know some weird dude from high school who thought it was cool to wear a black trench coat because the Matrix totally changed his life and Keanu Reeves was just so inspirational. Most of us have a love-hate relationship with this badass hacker. While he has the charisma of a slab of cardboard, he slips up and lets his personality out once in a while, and it’s in those moments that we get to pick apart his greatest fears.
Logizomechanophobia | Fear of Computers – Like you didn’t see this one coming. Intelligent machines have held him captive his entire life. The more he tries to learn about the Matrix and fight against it, the harder they resist. Are we talking about my family?
Oneirophobia | Fear of Dreams – Again, you totally knew we were going to cover this one. OF COURSE, Neo is afraid of dreaming. He’s been trapped in the goddamn Matrix his entire life. HE’S BEEN LIVING IN A DREAMWORLD! I fucking love Morpheus.
Ophthalmophobia | Fear of Being Watched – Intelligent sentinels always on your trail? No thanks, man. Or in my case, the IRS. Thanks, Dad!!!
Blennophobia | Fear of Slime – The poor guy’s spent his entire life hooked up to the Matrix in a fucking chamber filled with this disgusting, slimy red shit. When he finally emerges, it’s fucking nasty. And we have to imagine it’s much worse for him than it is for us. Growing up I always wanted to be on the show Double Dare, and I would have been thrilled if I was slimed.
Claustrophobia | Fear of Being Enclosed in a Small Space – Yeah, seriously, those slimy pods are horrifying. Umm… what if I’m in the Matrix? What if I’m in one of those pods right now? Guys…? I can’t breathe.
Lygophobia | Fear of Darkness – Stupid humans. Thinking blocking out the sun would do anything to stop the machines. After growing up thinking he was in a sunny city in the late 90s, we have to imagine Neo found the dreary real world pretty shocking. It’s like living in Seattle but all the time.
Maniaphobia | Fear of Insanity – Not gonna lie – if I went through even a fraction of what Neo did, I’d be afraid I was losing it, too. I kinda am already, so it’s not much of a stretch.
Mnemophobia | Fear of Memories – For Neo’s entire life, nothing was real. All his memories are fake! Of course, he’s mnemophobic. I wish my memories of high school were fake.
Neopharmaphobia | Fear of New Drugs – Red pill, or blue? Regardless, this decision stressed Neo out to the max. I once had a fear of new drugs, but now I don’t have as many manic episodes, so things are on the up and up.
Electrophobia | Fear of Electricity – Agent Smith rubs a fucking power cable in Neo’s face, which would be traumatic enough, but it also blinds him. We wouldn’t be going near any power lines after that. I don’t have a fear of electricity; instead, I have a fear of paying my electricity bill.
Nyctophobia | Fear of Numbers – I know seeing code helps Neo manipulate the simulation and do some awesome shit, but it still had to be pretty unnerving to see that everything he’d ever known was basically a series of numbers. That’s enough to make anyone lose their mind. Thankfully, Neo’s a badass, and he gets over this fear pretty quickly and becomes a motherfucking hero. Life goals right there.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.