Who’s pumped for Season 7 of Game of Thrones? We know it’s still a few months off, but to get you ready for Queen Cersei’s reign of terror, we thought we’d give you a list of her top ten phobias. Her kids are dead, and she’s ready to fight through her fears to avenge them. YES!
Chionophobia | Fear of Snow – Jon’s the King of the North now. Better watch your back, Cersei….. Better watch your fucking back.
Gamophobia | Fear of Marriage – Honestly, we can’t blame her for fearing marriage after being forced to marry Robert Baratheon. Still not an excuse to screw her brother, though.
Isolophobia | Fear of Being Alone – Queen Cersei once told Sansa you should only love your children, as it prevents you from being weak. Since Tommen died in the Season 6 finale, this phobia has come to fruition. Foreshadow much?
Kakorrhaphiophobia | Fear of Failure or Defeat – Do you see a pattern emerging here? Cersei is actually really good at making her phobias come true! She’s queen of a kingdom, sure, but it’s super broken. Oh, and did we mention all her kids are dead? And that it’s kinda her fault? Cersei’s really not batting a thousand here. If this were the major league baseball, she’d be the equivalent of a team owner not sending herself to the minor leagues.
Patroiophobia | Fear of Heredity – Since Joffrey, Mycella, and Tommen were all born from a vomit-inducing union between Cersei and Jaime, she was probably really afraid of hereditary defects. Her parents were also cousins. Gross to the max times a million. BARF! I married my 7the cousin but that’s okay in my books though. Very far removed.
Soteriophobia | Fear of Dependence on Others – Say what you will about Cersei (and there’s a lot of shit to talk on her), but her soteriophobia is pretty tragic. Her mother died when she was young, and she’s always had to use her wits to stay alive. She’s afraid that depending on others could lead to her own demise, and she’s probably right.
Ophidiophobia or Ophiophobia | Fear of Snakes – Cersei receiving a stuffed snake with her daughter’s necklace hanging out of its mouth no doubt gave rise to ophidiophobia. Reminds me of when my old college boyfriend gave me a similar surprise. Shudder.
Iophobia | Fear of Poison or of Being Posioned – We cheered when Shitlord Joffrey suffered a totally deserved, super horrific death in Cersei’s arms after being poisoned. She probably developed iophobia because of it. Shitlord Joffrey… good riddance. Should have done the same thing with that old college boyfriend.
Syngenesophobia | Fear of Relatives – Cersei’s family has betrayed her more times than we can count (Yeah, we know; she’s betrayed them, too.) Deep down, she knows Tyrion is more cunning than she is, and blames him for their mother’s death. Since Lord Tywin was always away at court while she was growing up, she’s got some daddy issues going on, too. This is all hitting too close to home. It’s like they’re telling the story of my family. FUCK MY LIFE!
Venustraphobia | Fear of Beautiful Women – When she was a child, Cersei visited a fortuneteller named Maggy. She told Cersei she would one day be queen, but a younger queen who was even more beautiful would usurp the throne. She’s gotta be sitting on the edge of the Iron Throne, terrified of when this will happen. We’re not saying Daenerys….. but Daenerys.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.