The Pillsbury Doughboy is one of the most iconic mascots in the history of Corporate America. The star of the Pillsbury Corporation is known around the world for his boyish good looks, adorable belly, and infectious giggle. However, not is always as it seems for this icon in real life, as he battles sex addiction and a myriad of the strangest phobias. And here is the list of the Top Ten Phobias Of The Pillsbury Doughboy.
Alektorophobia | Fear of Chickens – The Pillsbury Doughboy does most of his work in the kitchen, and while he was filming a commercial many years ago, he almost died from salmonella after walking on an infected cutting board. And he’s been scared of chickens ever since……….A man who knows his way around the kitchen! Sign me up!!
Diabetophobia | Fear of Diabetes – When you’re a baked good, you’re kinda like a walking and talking diabetes case waiting to happen. So yeah, you’d be scared of diabetes too………I’m like a walking and talking basket case waiting to happen. THAT WAS SO LAME! SORRY!
Catoptrophobia | Fear of Mirrors – Everyone thinks the Pillsbury Doughboy’s pudgy waistline is cute, but he’s always been self-conscious of his figure due to his body dysmorphia. Thus, being in front of mirrors scares the dough out of him………..Oh man, I just keep getting lamer with that dough comment. I should just quit on life right about now.
Centophobia | Fear of New Things or Ideas – Even though the Pillsbury Doughboy is an icon in his industry, sometimes he feels that his employers want to get rid of him with their introduction of new characters over the years………. This is how I felt when my Ex’s cheated on me. But unlike PD, I fought back by slashing their tires.
Genuphobia | Fear of Knees – When it comes to the Pillsbury Doughboy’s sex addiction, he doesn’t discriminate between genders and will creepily hit on anyone with a hole. Thus, he’s been kneed in the nuts in a week more than most folks have in a lifetime……….I love kneeing men in the nuts. I really do! Something about hearing them cry makes my juices flow that much harder.
Lachanophobia | Fear of Vegetables – The Pillsbury Doughboy has never seen a vegetable that he’s liked. And it’s not because of the taste. It’s because he’ll die if he goes near them, just like how Superman is with kryptonite………..What’s my kryptonite? Men who want to treat me well.
Medomalacophobia | Fear of Losing an Erection – A huge sense of life satisfaction comes from the PD’s sexual conquests. So if he wasn’t able to get it up anymore, his self-esteem and life might be thrown into chaos………..I laughed so HARD when any of my ex-boyfriends couldn’t get it up. Like, stop doing cocaine, dudes.
Rhytiphobia | Fear of Wrinkles – The Pillsbury Doughboy arrived on the scene in 1965 and has never aged a day since. His work and sex life depends on his boyish good looks, which is why he visits his plastic surgeon and dermatologist daily………….I just tried Botox for my first time, and no one can tell that I’m angry all the time anymore. People actually like me now……until they get to know me.
Satanophobia | Fear of Satan – The Pillsbury Doughboy knows that he was created by Satan himself (advertising executives) and fears what would happen if he stopped helping people sin and live unhealthy lives………….All hail, Satan!
Merinthophobia | Fear of Being Tied Up or Bound – He may be a sex addict, but the Pillsbury Doughboy isn’t a huge fan of BDSM, especially when the police found him tied up, beaten, and robbed after a legendary night he had in Amsterdam………..And like all men, I bet he deserved it.
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.
Photo Credit: Travis Chapman