Feel free to argue with me on this one, but Rachel might be the most iconic of the six Friends. Is it her magnificent hair? Her sense of humor? The fact that she’s basically the Queen of the Nineties? Whatever the reason, Friends would definitely not be complete without Jennifer Aniston’s portrayal of spoiled-rich-girl-turned-strong-independent-woman Rachel Green. But does that mean she’s absolutely perfect? Without flaw? Of course not. Like everyone else on Friends, she’s only somewhat well-adjusted… which means I get to have fun picking at her phobias……sidenote…….I kinda hate her…..but it’s only because I want to be her.
Gamophobia | Fear of Marriage – Season One. Episode One. Scene One. Rachel walks into Central Perk because she’s afraid of marrying a man she doesn’t love……Been there, but instead of Central Perk, I walked into a police station.
Ailurophobia | Fear of Cats – Just imagine how many times Rachel has been forced to listen to “Smelly Cat.” As someone who loves cats above all else, even I could hardly blame her for being afraid of them after that……I would have shanked Phoebe.
Anglophobia | Fear of England or English Culture – It’s not exactly a secret that Rachel isn’t fond of Ross’s British belle, Emily. Although she attends their wedding, she definitely has mixed feelings about it…….I would have shanked Emily. Do you sense a theme here?
Chrometophobia | Fear of Money – Rachel was born into money, so, of course, the first time she’s forced to go without it, she freaks out and doesn’t know how to deal. Thankfully, she overcomes this fear, and works hard to support herself……Can someone please explain to me how she afford her portion of rent in New York working at a coffee shop? Coz I work at coffee shop and I can’t pay my portion of rent in Buffalo.
Graphophobia | Fear of Writing or Handwriting – How else could a college-educated adult not know the difference between “your” and “you’re?” I’m not a huge Ross fan, but I would have been shanked her if she kept fucking that up in an eighteen page letter, too. You just don’t let shit like that go.
Ligyrophobia | Fear of Loud or Shrill Noises – Imagine how many times Rachel has been forced to hear Janice scream “Oh. My. God.” over the years…..I never want to think of Janice again. I think I really hate every character from friends now that I think of it.
Motorphobia | Fear of Automobiles – In “The One With Chandler’s Dad,” Rachel gets pulled over for speeding. She flirts with the officer and manages to avoid getting a ticket. Why didn’t you just update your license, Rachel? It’s because driving in New York City is seriously scary. No one respects a lane……If the cars were people, I’d shank them.
Phalacrophobia | Fear of Becoming Bald – Jennifer Aniston’s hair was iconic in the nineties. Who didn’t have “the Rachel?” (Well, I didn’t, because I was in grade school and I hated her). That must have been a tough image to maintain. She, more than anyone, probably has phalacrophobia.
Isolophobia | Fear of Solitude or Being Alone – Immediately after ditching her wedding, Rachel moves in with Monica, her long-lost high school friend and they hadn’t been close in years. Uh, yeah, she needed to be around anyone and badly……..In my life, I had this happen to me, and it was called Single White Female.
Kakorrhaphiophobia | Fear of Failure or Defeat – In ten seasons of Friends, Rachel falls on her face quite a lot. Sometimes it’s just not her day, her month, or even her year. Thankfully, her friends are always there for her. Enjoy getting that little earworm out of your head, peeps……And if you’ve got a problem with what I just did, come here to Buffalo and try to shank me.
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.
Photo Credit: NBC