Poor Ross. He’s always cited as the least favorite of the friends. Phoebe is the weird one. Rachel is the hot one. Chandler is the funny one. Joey is the chill one. Monica is the hilariously neurotic one. Ross is the… painfully awkward and sad one who’s always feeling sorry for himself? Is it Ross’s fears that keep him from being loved as much as the other Friends?
Anglophobia | Fear of England or English Culture – Why else would he marry and break up with Emily just like that? If he really loved her, wouldn’t he have been willing to move to London to be with her? Sounds like a case of Anglophobia to me…..Ugh, if Ross did that to me, Ross wouldn’t have teeth anymore. Just sayin…
Catagelophobia | Fear of Being Ridiculed – Ross is pretty obviously the butt monkey out of the Friends. He’s the one most likely to embarrass himself in the most cringe-worthy ways possible…..I’ve had many embarrassing boyfriends, but at least other people thought they were cool.
Coprophobia | Fear of Feces – He had a pet monkey. Are you telling me that little guy never flung his own shit around? Now I have a visual of Ross yelling, “No, Marcel! Throwing excrement is bad!”…..I just got repulsed by listening to his voice in my head. I guess I hate Ross a lot.
Decidophobia | Fear of Making Decision – It’s physically painful to watch Ross try to come to a decision. He either acts in the moment (and it, generally, ends badly) or he obsesses for an uncomfortable amount of time about the right course of action to pursue. Eesh, just make a decision!…..I’m now thinking that Ross had a lot of mental health problems and the show made us laugh at them, when in reality, this guy needed some serious help.
Glossophobia | Fear of Public Speaking – When Ross is nervous about teaching his first college course, he compensates by putting on a really fake English accent…….Remembering this made me realize how much I hated Friends…..but yet I still watched it. Am I a masochist?
Katsaridaphobia | Fear of Cockroaches – Ross briefly dates a woman who lives in a truly disgusting apartment full of bugs, rats, and who knows what else. Ross is disgusted by it, but it kinda reminds me of my current apartment…. so now I’m kinda offended.
Leukophobia | Fear of the Color White – Ross was, no doubt, traumatized when he tried to bleach his teeth to impress his date and ended up making them so blindingly white that they glowed in the dark. Of course, she was horrified. And, of course, he’s now got leukophobia…..Same thing happened to me when I tried to get my Meth stains out.
Linonophobia | Fear of Strings – Ross wanted a “no strings attached” understanding when he and Rachel initially stopped seeing each other. According to Ross, they were on a BREAK!…. I’ve been on both sides of this coin so that I won’t judge here…But since I hate Ross, fuck him.
Necrophobia | Fear of Death or Dead Things – Ross had a very unfortunate time at his grandma’s funeral. Not only did he fall into her empty grave, but he took too high of a dose of his mother’s painkillers and ended up confessing his feelings for Rachel….. And the abusive relationship that captured America bloomed.
Nomatophobia | Fear of Names – The world collectively gasped when Ross said to Emily during their vows, “I, Ross, take the Rachel.” Like, dude. Come on. It’s one of the most talked about moments Friends ever had… and one that Ross and Emily’s families are probably talking about to this day…….Uh, yeah, Fuck Ross.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.