Upon every generation, a Spider-Man is bitten by a radioactive spider. Actually, at this rate, there seems to be no end in Spider-Man franchises. We had Tobey Maguire in the first ones, Andrew Garfield a few years ago, and now Tom Holland in the recently-released Spider-Man: Homecoming. With a mythos that stretches back to 1962 across multiple media platforms, it’s safe to say we’ve got enough material to pick through Peter Parker’s brain and get at the source of his fears. We’ve got a few doozies up our sleeves, so hang on to your web. Here are Spider-Man’s Top Ten Phobias.
Hypengyophobia | Fear of Responsibility – This one’s just classic Spidey. With great power comes great responsibility, and he has to learn that the hard way. His hypengyophobia probably stems from the fact that he purposely let a burglar get away who later killed his uncle. Devastating. If this happened to me, I’d become a bigger drug addict than I already am.
Mechanophobia | Fear of Machines – Part man, part machine, Dr. Octopus always puts a particularly painful thorn… or appendage… in Spidey’s side. I once dated a guy that was this handsy, and I miss his bedroom prowess every single day.
Didaskaleinophobia | Fear of Going to School – Peter is bullied pretty severely in school, especially by Flash Thompson. Being humiliated and having the shit kicked out of you on a regular basis will definitely give you didaskaleinophobia. Thankfully this didn’t happen to me. I was more of the one taking out my rotten home life out on others. Sorry, Damien Lebow!
Acrophobia | Fear of Heights – The awesome thing about the Spiderman: Homecoming is that Peter, like a normal human being, has acrophobia. He’s super freaked out about having to climb the Washington Monument. I’m so afraid of heights I don’t even want to type about it.
Ornithophobia | Fear of Birds – In Spider-Man: Homecoming, Adrian Toomes, a down-on-his-luck contractor, creates a creepy mecha flying suit from alien tech he stole while cleaning up after the last Avengers’ mission that shit-wrecked New York. He’s dubbed ‘the Vulture,’ and (without getting too spoiler-heavy here) really gives Spidey a run for his money. I’m just scared birds will shit on me.
Electrophobia | Fear of Electricity – Shocker’s got gauntlets that can electrocute the shit out of Spidey, and have, on multiple occasions. My dad used to work for the Electric company, so this just brings up old wounds. I think I need a drink.
Aviophobia | Fear of Flying – His parents WERE killed in a plane crash, after all. And while Peter may in some iterations be comfortable swinging around the New York City skyline, that doesn’t mean he’d be all that enthused about soaring at thirty-thousand feet with nothing to catch himself. This one falls into Fear of Heights for me, and now I’m onto drink number two rather quickly.
Gephyrophobia | Fear of Bridges – While her death is different in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, in the original comic, The Night Gwen Stacy Died, the Green Goblin drops Gwen Stacy off a bridge. He suggests to Peter that, even though he caught her with his web before she hit the ground, the velocity itself killed her. No doubt Peter can’t even look at the Brooklyn Bridge without thinking about her. Sucks that New York is, like, full of bridges. Drink number three? Check!
Herpetophobia | Fear of Reptiles – Yeah, yeah, we know: Herpetophobia totally looks like ‘Fear of Herpes.’ Get your mind out of the gutter; we’re talking about Spider-Man’s pain here! In The Amazing Spider-Man, Dr. Connor, Peter’s mentor, turns himself into a giant lizard and insists that humans are weak and worthless. It’s gotta suck having one of your only links to your dead father turn into a giant, murderous reptile. Anyway, back to my pain. Herpes doesn’t cause me physical pain, just emotional pain due to the Stigma. I feel so undateable. Someone buy me drink number five?
Siderophobia | Fear of Stars – Peter Parker hates Star Wars. Because I can’t wrap my mind around why anyone would hate Star Wars, there can be only one conclusion: Siderophobia. At least this phobia doesn’t cause me to drink. And the theme of this Top Ten list is that I really need to go to rehab for my addictions. So I’ll be back after I’m done or after I chicken out and continue down the road of self-destruction.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Addiction or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.