You’d think that being known as the actual god of thunder would make you impervious to fears, but Thor has quite a few skeletons in his closet. On Asgard, he led a relatively cushy life. But being heir to a kingdom is bound to give you more than a few phobias when it all comes crushing down. So let’s pick apart Thor’s brain; shall we? Here are Thor’s Top Ten Phobias.
Pagophobia | Fear of Frost – Audiences might find Loki endearing, but Thor is pretty much over his bullshit. His adopted Frost Giant brother has been a thorn in his side for ages……. A pain I know too well.
Panophobia | Fear of Neglecting Responsibilities – Thor’s always had to worry about the fate of Asgard resting on his shoulders, and after he’s banished to Earth, he suddenly has a whole other planet to protect. The poor guy is basically Atlas squared……. Unlike Thor, I wasn’t banished from my home. I chose to leave.
Cleithrophobia | Fear of Being Locked up in an Enclosed Space – It looks like Thor’s going to start off in a shitty bad place in Ragnarok. He’s captured, his hammer is taken away, and he’s imprisoned and forced to fight in a gladiator ring against the Hulk. Doesn’t sound like much fun for someone who’s used to being able to travel from planet to planet at his leisure….. I wish this would happen to my ex-boyfriend, Mike ‘Needles’ Murphy.
Nosocomephobia | Fear of Hospitals – When Jane and Darcy take Thor to the hospital after he lands on earth, he tries to hide his fear by acting all insulted and taking out the hospital staff. Can’t really blame him, though. Bright lights. Needles. Even Thor’s gotta have some irrational fears…… I don’t mind the hospital stay. Free food and a warm bed. Thanks Obamacare!
Bibliophobia | Fear of Books – Thor no read. Thor smash! This was actually the motto of my High School. Our graduation rate was 35%…..the best in the county.
Phalacrophobia | Fear of Becoming Bald – If I had that magnificent head of hair, I, too, would be terrified of losing it. How old is Chris Hemsworth? I’d imagine he’s probably becoming a worried about male pattern baldness right about now……. Bald? Who cares! As long as they have money.
Asthenophobia | Fear of Weakness – Without his trusty hammer, Mjolnir, he’s essentially a weak-ass human like the rest of us. I mean, not really, but he does turn into a Nordic crybaby and resigns himself to living in exile. Thankfully, Thor grows a lot during his time on earth, and he overcomes his fear of weakness and is eventually able to wield Mjolnir again…..I can spell Mjolnir. Take that loser high school!
Hellenologophobia | Fear of Greek Terminology – If I were Thor, I’d be pissed off knowing the Greek gods get way more recognition than the Scandinavian ones. Even “Zeusophobia,” fear of gods, stems from Greek. Is Thorophobia a thing?…….My bosses said no, but they’re building an urban dictionary section for phobias, so eventually it can be. YEAH!
Gerontophobia | Fear of Old People – Thor’s got a sad life, really. Since Asgardians have such long lifespans, he essentially has to watch the people he grows to care about on Earth age and die while he stays young…… Since I don’t care about anyone but myself, this isn’t an issue for me.
Zeusophobia | Fear of Gods –This fear is really going to come to a head in Ragnarok. Hela, the goddess of death herself, is gunning to usher in the apocalypse. I’m sure Thor will get his act together and defeat her… at least until the next Avengers movie…. The only God I’m afraid of is Michael Corleone and he isn’t real either.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.