Twitter’s Verbosity Grandiosity

Posted by Christie Szymanowski | Oct 23, 2017 | Anxiety, Fake News, Social Media Anxiety Disorder of the Week | 0 |

When Twitter announced their plan to up their character count on Tweets from 140 to a whopping 280, users of the social media site were overwhelmingly – and vehemently – against it.

“If I can’t say what I need to say in 140 characters, I don’t deserve to call myself a Twitter user,” Grace Smith, a retail worker from Iowa tweeted last Thursday. When we reached out to her for further comment, she told us she was getting the tattoo #140 on her ankle in remembrance of what Twitter “used to be.”

“I understand where Ms. Smith is coming from,” said Social Media Analyst Kevin Fischer. “Twitter has been this way since its inception. You have some kids using it these days who don’t even remember a world without 140 characters. It’s going to be a lot to get used to.”

Psychiatrist Jude Mitchell has dubbed this “Verbosity Grandiosity,” in memoriam of how much the platform, ironically, has lost by expanding its character count. “I think in the coming days and weeks, you’re going to see a lot of people trying to cope with these new changes in different ways. People will be more conceited now that they have twice as much space to express their opinions. I expect a lot of pompous ‘mini-manifestos’ on Twitter.”

Mitchell said one of his clients, a software developer, is already working on an app designed to link to Twitter and make sure you’re only posting 140 characters.

“It’s going to be for Twitter purists. We want to be able to look our kids in the eye and say, ‘Back in my day, you said what you had to say in 140 characters, or you didn’t say it at all.”

Once you go above 140 characters, the app causes your phone to emit a deafening screech. “Critics say he’s going overboard,” said Mitchell. “I think he’s the hero Twitter needs.”

Erica Hornbeck, who’s been using Twitter since 2009, says she’s afraid that knowing how to communicate in 140 characters is about to become a lost art. “There are all sorts of unique abbreviations you have to figure out when you’re using Twitter. That’s their motto: short and sweet. If people want to write long, eloquent responses to social issues, maybe they should create their own social media platform that allows them to do so. Call it Bombast: For Pretentious Twats Who Can’t Shut the Fuck Up.”

Twitter user Rick Larsen says he’s afraid it’s going to give Donald Trump a larger platform to spread his rhetoric. “It already doesn’t make sense – imagine what it’ll be like when he can say twice as much per tweet!”

Fischer, however, thinks people are overreacting this early in the game. “For all we know, Twitter could see how outraged people are and reverse the decision by next week.”

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.

Photo Image: Mambembe Arts & Crafts

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