Vegan Divorce Rate At An All Time High Causing General Anxiety

Posted by Amber Adams | Sep 16, 2017 | Fake News | 0 |

Diet and Exercise are all the rage these days in an attempt to help combat a myriad of mental health issues that include Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The most popular diet lifestyle that’s picking up steam is Veganism, and it’s causing a surge in the divorce cases amongst these now unhappy couples. The diet to help with depression and anxiety is unfortunately now one of its leading causes.

As the divorce rate in the United States has fallen to a low of 45% in the year 2017, the divorce rate amongst couples where only one person has converted to Veganism has soared to a rate of 93%. The most popular reasons for divorce was the constant nitpicking by the Vegan spouse over what they perceived was their partners disgusting eating habits and feelings of superiority mostly shown through dumb faces, eye rolls, and fake smiles.

According to Jayne Kitchen, a former spouse of a Vegan, “One day I woke up to go to CVS for my anxiety meds and I went to make some sunny side up eggs, and all the eggs were gone. My husband, he threw them out. He told me we’d gone Vegan, and it was like I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t know if this was a Women’s Rights issue or a Vegan issue, but I later found out it was a Vegan issue when he stopped watching football with his friends on Sundays and wanted to stay home with me and make raw food pastries with a cashew base. When I told him I was going to my friends for a clambake instead., he rolled his eyes like he was better than me and it all went downhill from there.”

There have been numerous reports from the South West of the United States, specifically Southern California that Vegan Spouses have become the equivalent of Scientologists in the food world and will now only associate with other Vegans, causing increased anxiety and poor financial choices.

“I did my best for a long time to support my wife and her Veganism. It brought me a great deal of anxiety because of all the fake smiles I was receiving, but I wanted to be a good husband and compromise on issues that my wife found important. Then she started hanging around with only Vegan People, and hung out at Vegan Cafes, and started smelling like nut-based products all the time. Then I was given an ultimatum to go Vegan or go home, but not to our home cause she didn’t want me there cause she wasn’t allowed to associate with Non-Vegans anymore and then she told me that she was giving all of our savings to the First Order of Veganism Cafe. And I was like, the fuck you aren’t!” said the recently divorced Non-Vegan, Bill Thomas.

Of the 7% of half Vegan/Non-Vegan couples that did not divorce, it’s been reported that 6% of them did not like their spouses in the first place and divorcing over something so small in comparison to deep seeded resentment for never encouraging them to follow their dreams seemed somewhat childish.

Nevertheless, Veganism is on the rise, and it’s wreaking havoc in the lives of happy couples and providing everyone with an unhealthy dose of conflict, anger, fear, hate, and sadness. Which ultimately leads to more cases of depression and anxiety.

When will this diet lifestyle end? Nobody knows, but it seems like the sooner it gets eradicated, the better.


If you or a loved one you know has any mental health issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.


Photo Credit: David Goehring

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