Watch Jurassic Park To Improve Your Narcissist Surveillance Technique

Posted by Chad The Impaler | Sep 11, 2018 | Narcissist Combat Handbook, Self Esteem | 0 |

I don’t know if you know this, but at one time, I tried to enlist in the army, only to be rejected due to my plantar fasciitis. I pleaded to the powers that be to let me in, as I had just taken up the study of Jeet Kune Do, and I believed that Bruce Lee’s life-changing philosophy of martial art would create new neuropathways in my brain, that would then help cure my troublesome feet………And guess what? It did, but not for another 5 years because I kinda procrastinated a little bit before I got started, coz sometimes you think that you’ve hit rock bottom and then you realize that you’re not there yet, so then, 5 years later, you find yourself hanging out with a bunch of narcissist phonies talking about how awesome and smart they are while discussing their latest important artistic endeavor, and it’s just the same shit that’s been spewing out of their jack daniel’s laced mouths forever, and then you’re finally done. So I got up from sitting on a milk crate at that warehouse party on Symington Rd., and I’ve never looked back. 

Now, what does this have to do with narcissist tactical observation surveillance? Well, once I got rejected from the army, I fell into a deep depression even though I didn’t really know it yet. And during that unleavened state, I played first-person shooter video games for at least 5 hours a day. The other hours involved lots of sleeping, thinking terrible things about myself, daydreaming about being a really cool vampire that escaped my family and daytraded stocks and cryptocurrencies to make a living from my extremely dark windowless basement, smoking weed, and thinking about who put together video game maps so you knew where things were and where to go. Because if it wasn’t for those maps, there’s no way that a soldier knew where to go and why. And to me, the map creator was a real unsung hero in video games, and this also translated to real life too. So when it came time to budget how much capital I needed to finance my narcissist war, I knew I needed the funds to create the best map possible.

And to build a great map, I needed great teachers to base my surveillance techniques from. A friend recommended that I contact Bill Cosby, and I thought that was revolting. The mere thought of Cosby was absolutely disgusting, and I stopped being friends with that person right on the spot, which caused me great anguish because we’d been friends since Grade 4 and he always thought I was cool. Anyway, getting back on track here, because I’m an outside of the box thinker, thanks to Bruce Lee, I thought, why does my role model need to be human?

You see, when I told my friend to get lost coz of the Cosby thing, I was watching Jurassic Park at the same time, and I was like, these Velociraptors are the ultimate battle-ready warriors. They watched from afar, had great memories and could learn. They also tested boundaries/fences, wanting to see how objects or people would react. They just didn’t have a mental map of physical things, but they mapped out how living animals would respond to stimuli as well. With Velociraptor type surveillance, I could not just map my war, I could create traps by anticipating the narcissists every move.

So my suggestion is that you rent the original Jurassic Park, and please don’t watch anything after that. They’re all derivative pieces of shit, and for some reason, no one in these movies ever learns that genetically recreating dinosaurs is just a bad fucking idea. And honestly, I can’t believe people still go see this shit. Aren’t we smarter than this?!………. Wait, maybe saving the lives of the innocent isn’t all it’s cracked up to be if people are this dumb? Perhaps we do deserve the narcissist apocalypse and everything that’s happening to us?

Real Conversation With My Trusty Sidekick Dr. Jonas Von – Right Now

DJV: Chad, your tone just changed drastically, what’s going on?

CHAD: Ummmm, I just had the realization that maybe no one else really cares about fighting the narcissist apocalypse, besides me?

DJV: I see what you’re saying. Let me ask you this, are you battling the narcissists for you or for other people?

CHAD: Uh, I never thought about that before, but by searching deep into my soul right now, I can tell you that I’m most definitely doing it for me. Is that wrong? It kinda feels wrong now that I’m saying it out loud.

DJV: Chad, there’s nothing wrong with taking care of your own needs first. In fact, you’ve been taking care of others for way too long, and this a huge step forward for you.

CHAD: Thanks, doc. But I’m just scared I’ll become one of them if you know what I mean.

DJV: I do, but you got this one, Chad.

CHAD: Ummmm thanks, but this got really cheesy and really fast, so let’s just stop talking here. And no those aren’t tears, it’s dusty in here, and some got into my eyes. now stop bugging me.

DJV: Whenever you need me, I’ll be here.

CHAD: Thanks, but get lost, cheeseball. 

Real Conversation With My Trusty Sidekick Dr. Jonas Von – Over


Want to know how Chad the Impaler came to be? Click Here!


If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.


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