I’m the advice columnist for this website and a pretty shitty one at that. If there’s one thing I do, I tell my honest truth, whether that truth is right or wrong for you is another question altogether. This week I was asked to fill in for a columnist on vacation, and I had no problem with it, but when I was asked to write about Pete Davidson and his battle with Borderline Personality Disorder, it didn’t sit right with me.
I don’t want to write about a celebrity like every other website that’s serving his mental health issue as a headline catcher just to get page views. And to be honest, I don’t give a fuck about Pete Davidson. And if I’m going to be even more honest, I don’t think he’s funny at all, and I don’t want to write about a comedian whose comedy I don’t respect. I don’t even crack a smile when watching his standup and I mostly just groan in pain like when you have to shit really bad but nothing’s coming out, and you’re just sitting on the toilet for just way too long, and your foot goes numb. Maybe I got old, and I’m out of touch with what younger people like today, as I really don’t understand a lot of the things they find funny. But really, I just think the social media generation has a poor sense of humor, and as a society, we have gotten dumber and dumber. I may be wrong, but that’s my belief.
Let me say this, if I did find Pete Davidson funny, maybe I would care about his Borderline Personality Disorder, and like the internet, be concerned about his quick marriage proposal to Arianna Grande, whom I know of but couldn’t tell you what she sings. My nieces don’t like her, that’s all I know. But for the most part, my nieces have shitty taste, so what’s their opinion really worth?
Maybe I could be an authority on the Pete Davidson issues, but I don’t know Pete Davidson on any sort of a personal level. Like we don’t text to hang out or send funny gifs to each other, mostly because he’d probably send me gifs I don’t think are funny. But who am I to judge this guy about his actions if I’m not his friend or family member? I don’t know how he usually acts! All I know is that the internet and social media thinks that because he got engaged pretty quickly, it hits one of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder and now you’re stigmatizing something you stupid fucks no nothing about and have never experienced. Let me tell you this, I got married at 21 years old on a whim in Las Vegas, then later that night, I shat my pants while passed out drunk. Is that a symptom of a mental health issue or did I just decide to get married on a whim and drink too much? The answer is, it’s none of your fucking business.
My biggest question in this Pete Davidson saga is finding out who his agent is because that person must be a miracle worker and I need them to represent me too. I mean, his agent must be Jesus, because he took his watery career and turned it into fucking wine. Not just any wine, like a 60 dollar at the restaurant bottle of wine. It’s not too expensive, but still affordable, and your date won’t think you’re being a cheap bastard for getting it or a princess if the roles were reversed.
So to conclude, fuck this website for making me write about Pete Davidson and his Borderline Personality Disorder and good luck editing this piece of shit too.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.